Today we are leaving to go to Oklahoma. Mike's brother Jim is in the hospital with Leukemia. It happened so fast!
He was fine, then he was sick. Really sick. Over this past week he has been on my mind continually, and we have been holding him up in prayer. There is a part of me that knows and understands that nothing happens without a purpose and plan, then there is this deep pain that keeps me on the verge of tears. It is a pain that doesn't want a loved one to suffer. Doesn't want him to have pain, worry, fear, nausea and all the other stuff that goes with being in the hospital with a terrible disease.
Then, again, there is faith. I have to continuously look to the heavenly father for comfort, that only he can offer.
My heart feels broken. This is Jim. OUR JIM! Our Jim who is so athletic, funny, sweet. Our Jim, our brother, our daughters previous foster father. Our Jim, the little guy who was barely out of high school when I met him.
JIM HAS CANCER! I'm scared for him. But I also trust the Lord that HE is in control, and like a shepherd will lead HIS little ones beside still waters, cause them to drink and eat of the bread of HEAVEN, for eternity, so I can rest in the LORD, as HE is the answer.
“I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because I'm helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time- waking and sleeping. It doesn't change God- it changes me.”
― C. S. Lewis
― C. S. Lewis
I believe in the sun even when it's not shining. I believe in love even when I don't feel it. And I believe in God even when He is silent. (quote found on the wall of a concentration camp)