It has been a flurry of activity around here and I have an hour right now to slow down abit before we go off to the Verkler's for an Easter Brunch.
I hae been ever aware of my sin this week, as I am being challenged with 2 extra girls thrown into the mix. I have been called Gramma, Mommy, Mother, Grandmother, Mom, Momma in mixed up order.
Sometimes the grandgirls have called me Mommy and the girlies have called me gramma! :/
I have had tired moments and grouchy moments and moments of joy, seeing each little bundle of joy fast asleep, and moments of COFFEE! NOW! When I hear them stir in the morning.
It is funny how we can get in a smoothe routine and everything is fine, and then, that routine is broken into and our schedule different , and then everything seems "out of sorts". Our seemingly calm existence is turned on its head, and I am once again on my knees repenting for my selfish heart. That selfish heart that wants things a little quieter, neater, did I say quieter?
And the Lord speaks to my heart and lets me know....
I'm depending a little too much on myslef, and not enough on Him. His grace is sufficient for me, but I have to open up and stop doing things on my own.
I realized how much I depend upon a "well oiled ship" for things to run, and sometimes that Oil is organization or schedule instead of the oil of the Spirit in our lives.
Oh my, our sin nature is ever present, just under the surface, ready to pop out its ugly head. "Don't do that!" "No Whining!" "Did you get in the Mud AGAIN?" "Please go to sleep!" "Yes, we carry in wood, if we want to be warm! Do you want to be warm?"
Isn't that gracious? NOT....
I am so glad this week happened. I loved visiting my grand girlies, but I also know that the instruction of the Lord, chastising me for my attitude shows that HE ever loves me. The Lord Chastens those whom he loves, so I am grateful for that too.
It is with sorrow and tears that I write, confessing that I need more time with my Lord. I am thankful that I can run to him, and he lets me whine, and bring in my mud, and prefers me to be awake so we can commune, and he warms my heart. He cleanses me and then again, works to conform me to His Image.
I am Oh so far from that.
I long to be Like Christ. I long to reflect his image.
I cannot do it on my own.
Many times we hear that the Lord sends Children for us to teach; but in His master plan, He also gives us those children to teach us.
“I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because I'm helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time- waking and sleeping. It doesn't change God- it changes me.”
― C. S. Lewis
― C. S. Lewis
I believe in the sun even when it's not shining. I believe in love even when I don't feel it. And I believe in God even when He is silent. (quote found on the wall of a concentration camp)