You know, when you come up to a door of the "unknown", the first thing you have is fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of what will happen, fear of how life will be changed, or what might be missed. Then, you walk through the door and everything is so very new. It isn't quite like smelling the flowers blanketing the roadside, or even like the first time you went swimming. It is more of a feeling like Graduation. There is joy and there is fear, and there is looking at the future with trepidation, and then there is this "settled" feeling, "I Can Do This!" It is kind of like going from Parenting 101 to Graduation all in one week. You go from thinking about what the baby will wear home from the hospital to important things like, WHEN WILL he come home from the hospital. You go from those romantasized ideas of "ahhh, everything is going to be "picture perfect", to "wow, I'm tired, and we're headed back to the hospital for the 5th time in 8 weeks!
You learn to take that lump in your throat that wants to swell into a big loud ball of emotion, and swallow it so you can greet the Dr. whom you have to explain everything to AGAIN, with a smile. You fight back with all your might, so that your baby will feel your gentle touch and love, and not feel that you are scared for him. Moms do that, so their babies can rest. Then, you get to go home and collapse and try to catch up with laundry. NOT!
That is where Kelly and Jason are now. They are pressing forward and are committed Parents to Parker. Parker has the exact Mom and Dad that God chose for him. Ones that are strong, but not too strong. They know they need to be comforted and loved by family. Giving, but not too giving. (they still need time for themselves)
and the Perfect Gramma, Grampa and Great Gramma, because when they need time for themselves, there are those loving grandparents waiting in line for a turn to love on little Parker.
I got a note today from Robyn. She said, she wouldn't have Parker any other way. If she had to choose from a menu, she'd choose him as he is. She wouldn't choose an easier life for him, it is just right how it is. This life, will make him stronger. And she is right. It will. She said he has so much personality and she just loves him. His little pictures show it too.
Wanna see some? Here they are:
“I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because I'm helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time- waking and sleeping. It doesn't change God- it changes me.”
― C. S. Lewis
― C. S. Lewis
I believe in the sun even when it's not shining. I believe in love even when I don't feel it. And I believe in God even when He is silent. (quote found on the wall of a concentration camp)