“I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because I'm helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time- waking and sleeping. It doesn't change God- it changes me.”
― C. S. Lewis
― C. S. Lewis
I believe in the sun even when it's not shining. I believe in love even when I don't feel it. And I believe in God even when He is silent. (quote found on the wall of a concentration camp)
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Thoughts About Disruption
(one of my favorite funny pictures of our little Petunia Sarah. She didn't like her dress)
When I first heard about "Adoption Disruption", I didn't know what it really was, and was shocked that it could happen.
Since that time, 3 years ago, I have come to understand it a little bit more. There are many reasons why different people adopt and many reasons why they disrupt. The big thing is, that no matter what, there is great loss and great gain.
If a disruption occurs, it is not a failure for the family who disrupted. It is to their credit, that they saw things were not working and WOULD NOT work. It takes a very strong person to disrupt an adoption. The disrupted family can feel scorned, rejected and even hated by those who do not understand.
The family who is the recipient of the child will have great work cut out for them in dealing with a very hurt child and respecting the family from where she came. In some cases, as in our case, the transition was pretty easy considering all our daughter had been through in her short life.
(abandoned at birth, contracted TB so placed in a TB hospital, loss of a leg, and fingers, TB sanitarium, finally an orphanage, 11 mos later adopted, moved to a new country, then 10 mos later, adoption disrupts and she comes to us)
As this has been on my heart the last 3 years, I have had many feelings about the whole subject. The conclusion I have come to is that God is in control. What Satan meant for harm, God turned into something good. It may not feel that way to the family who is dealing with the pain and loss of disruption. It may not seem that way when the child first comes. Natural thought would be, "It's a bloody awful mess and that is all there is to it!" But it ISN'T all there is to it.
There was much pain and hurt to work through for our Sarah, and we needed the Wisdom of Solomon to help her through it. It is a very difficult position to be in. We wanted to comfort her, but we also didn't want to make the other family look bad, or for them to be "all negative" in her mind. They did a wonderful thing to bring her here and we are forever grateful to them for that. Sarah has a healthy understanding, as much as a little girl can have, on what happened to her, and she too is thankful that she is here. She has been able to retain some positive memories of her life, both in the Orphanage and with the other family.
You know, We serve a multifaceted ALL KNOWING, heart healing, miracle working, life saving, God!
Mike and I would have NEVER thought about going to Ukraine to get Erika, because we wouldn't have even known about Erika.
Because of the disrupting family, we have Sarah AND Erika. We have been able to be part of a bigger ministry (in prayer mostly) for Dima and Hal. Our church, Community Bible Chapel has become involved, and Dima will be speaking at our church next month.
Children's lives are being changed and many more reached. Why? Because Sarah's FIRST family answered the call to go to Ukraine and get her. I know things did not turn out as they expected, and I know they will always have a hole in their hearts for her.
But I also know, that Sarah is where she is supposed to be, and I hope they can be comforted in that they had a HUGE part in the ministry that continues to unfold before us.
We can all rest in the comforting arms of our Heavenly Father, that HIS purposes are being fulfilled. We are but instruments in His hands.
(here she is 3 years later. Our blossoming little blue bonnet!)