A good friend, whom I have never met in person but long to someday, here or there, wrote a post about love and if she loved her adoptive children any less than her bio children. It was a thought provoking post.
I have never really thought about things like she placed into her words, other than the "arranged marriage" part.
Love, is a decision. It is an action. It is a verb. It does not show favoritism, and it is patient, and kind. Love bears ALL things, HOPES all things, ENDURES all things. IT rejoices in truth. It puts the other person before yourself.
Love does not boast or envy it is not arrogant or rude or insist on its own way, it is not irritable or resentful and does not rejoice in WRONGdoing.
Without Christ, none of us can really LOVE anybody properly, no matter how we know them: friends, family, parents or children. We also have this dang thing called a Sin nature that can get in our way.
He showed us in His word how to LOVE, by the LOVE HE poured into US. He did not withhold His love from us, but SENT HIS SON and gave him to us as a gift, WHILE we HATED HIM! HE LOVED US! We love him, BECAUSE HE FIRST loved us.
As we come to know our Savior more, we come to LOVE Him more. We become more familiar with him. Because of His outpouring of love INTO us, we cannot help but respond. As our husbands pour their love into us, we cannot help but respond, ands as we pour our love into our children, they cannot help but respond. As time goes on, and those responses are reciprocol, our love deepens to a different level. It is that familial level of trust.
I remember visiting Erika for the very first time at the orphanage. We did not really know what to expect, as we had been told "her joint don't work". That was all we knew. She was adorable, but she also had a terrible smell. LOL It was hard to wrap my arms around her and embrace her fully, but I did. I put myself aside, and LOVED HER. (I just breathed through my mouth) LOL I wonder if the Lord does the same when we come to Him. We are pretty stinky, but he fully embraces us.
I remember thinking when we walked away: "Wow, I have a nearly 8 year old girl whom I just showed love to, and I don't even know her. NOTHING about her!" But oh am I ever excited to get caught up.
The first thing we did when we could, was give her a big bath! Then I saw this little girl with a personality all her own emerge. She wasn't a baby. She was a 1/2 grown child, AND it was hard to cuddle her because of her joint problem, she didn't bend.
She was also way more interested in Daddy than mommy. She had had enough caretakers in her life that were women who didn't treat her very well.
So my love also had to be patient. Those first weeks I did most of the bathing and feeding and cleaning and singing and reading, and daddy got all the fun. LOL I didn't push myself onto her or pressure her for affection.
I would say she is still very much a daddy's girl, but that is ok. It is just her.
I was a daddy's girl too.
But with time being the great equalizer, and TRUST being established that yet another woman wouldn't disappoint or hurt her, she is very affectionate towards me too.
She adores us both and both of us adore her.
As time has gone on, the longer our children are with us, I forget that they were once somewhere else or somebody else's. I honestly do. I will get reminded when the girls ask about when their brother's were babies or I share a funny story with them. The conversation always goes to the girls saying, "Oh mommy, I wish you held me when I was a baby!" I can only tell them, "I'm holding you now. And we are making up for lost time." That is when I get reminded. Oh yea. It makes me sad, yet it makes me see how far we have come as a family.
I KNOW that time will come for my dear friend too, and it will be precious.
She loves her children with her whole heart. In her words, she would lay down her life for them. And that is exactly what true love is; laying down one's life for another.
“I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because I'm helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time- waking and sleeping. It doesn't change God- it changes me.”
― C. S. Lewis
― C. S. Lewis
I believe in the sun even when it's not shining. I believe in love even when I don't feel it. And I believe in God even when He is silent. (quote found on the wall of a concentration camp)