This was the question my little Anna posed to me today..... My heart absolutely SANK!
We were having a discussion about if another child would be in our future. Would you girlies like a new sister or brother?
Anna said, "We could try one out".
My answer was, "We don't try children out... We bring them home and love them no matter what."
Her response was, "Didn't you try me out?"
NO! Heaven's NO!
"Then why did I have to go back?"
It is amazing what you can find out in simple conversations.
We had applied to adopt Anna through the foster care system. We were given an extended visit, and had hoped for more, but the social worker was not contacted in time before our visit time was up. So she legally HAD to go back to her foster home until our court date. I remember explaining it to her, but she was only 5. I rocked a sobbing child who did not want to go back. But we had no choice. All of our hearts were broken. 10 days later, we brought her home forever; but that 10 days made her think we might reject her. How AWFUL! Kids just go through the worst things. :(
So, today I sat her down and at 10 years old, she can understand what happened 5 years ago when she was 5 much better. When I explained to her why she had to go back and about the law and how we NEVER EVER EVER would just "try her out" or even consider not accepting her for who she was, she got this big smile on her face and I got a great big "I love you mommy hug!" I just love those really, really, real hugs. :)
I'm so glad we had this conversation, if for nothing else, that her understanding be cleared, that Mommy and Daddy LOVED her from the beginning and never EVER thought about "trying her out".
Anna found this silly hat in the Attic last week. I just love her smile. :)
"His Mercies Are New Every Morning"
“I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because I'm helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time- waking and sleeping. It doesn't change God- it changes me.”
― C. S. Lewis
― C. S. Lewis
I believe in the sun even when it's not shining. I believe in love even when I don't feel it. And I believe in God even when He is silent. (quote found on the wall of a concentration camp)