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Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Importance of Adoption and Special Needs

This Red Bud Tree is How I feel when I see My Children Succeed. I want to break out into singing, lifting my hands in Praise the to the Lord.

I was not going to blog for at least a week as my hand is sore, but I have to come out of rest and blog about this very important issue. ADOPTION!

Since the woman in California gave birth to Octuplets after having 6 other children under the age of 7,there has been a backlash in the community against large families, and especially against families with Special Needs Children.

I know of nobody who would defend this woman's actions, BUT... her children are here to stay, they are healthy and she is their mom.
SHE has NOTHING to do with typical large families or those who adopt special needs kids. She has simply tried to make a name for herself and seems to wind up in the media a lot.

The backlash I am speaking of has me very concerned. There have been people rudely attacked with vicious words of disdain because they have large families or special needs children.
They have been accused of being addicted to adoption, adopting "throw away kids", and my favorite was the wonderful man who asked me how much my daughter was costing him.
(referring to his taxes)
The answer: NOTHING.

Not every person who has children with special needs applies for benefits for those children even IF it IS their right to do so.
I am really concerned about the attitudes towards families and children in general.
We are scarily on the slippery slope that led to Nazi's gassing the "unwanteds".
We need to remember that all of us are 1 accident away from being an "unwanted".

It is considered unnatural or weird to WANT to be a mom, especially a stay at home mom and especially if you want more than 1 or 2 children.

It is vogue to order a baby and schedule the due date, and even try to have two at
one time, but it isn't ok to just be a mom, especially if you don't have your entire life planned out to the nth degree for mega retirement and the mansion on a hilltop, and don't forget the complete coverage of all your children's college educations.

Just one look at our present economy and you can see that the most responsible of people can lose out in the end. Their barns were full, but now they are empty.

Adopting children is not about us. It is about them. It is about the ability to love another person fully and totally, giving without expecting back in return, and it is a rewarding, HUGE blessing.
It is about molding and shaping a life and giving them a chance where there wasn't a chance before. It is about taking an arrow pointed at destruction and aiming it at success.
It is about unconditionally loving another human being. It is about pouring yourself out in prayer and tears for the sake of another, and much of the work is hidden.

There is concerted effort to make another succeed both emotionally and spiritually. There is no "luck" in the equation. It is hard work, it is the lowest paying job monetarily on the planet (as it is voluntary AND will cost you money. Lots of it!) But it is the most rewarding job you will ever do.
Watching a child who never smiled before break out in a huge grin, watching a child walk for the first time without pain,watching a child love you back unprovoked for the first time, watching a child give from within themselves and do a selfless act,watching a child pray,watching a child BE a child for the very first time! This is what adoption is all about.

It isn't about a selfish addiction, it is about a selfless life.

For those families whom I love and admire for all of your HARD work and selfless giving:
May the Lord Bless You and Keep you and Give you Peace.

Psalm 127:3-5
Behold Children are a heritage from the Lord........
Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them.....


Lorraine Fuller said...

YOu just said what I was thinking. I will probably post something similar tonight after my kids are in bed. Right now I am waiting for some video to load. Also waiting for a call from my doctor that I may not want to take! LOL
Give those girlies of yours a hug for me! They are a blessing!

Diana said...

AMEN!! Yes, the family in general is under attack and it is frightening. Never has there been a time in history when fighting to defend the family, the rights of children, and the rights of MOTHERS (not women) has been more important.

As I watched my once "unwanted" (at least in his country of origin) son with CP squeal with delight as he came of a full size regular people water slide yesterday, I thought of this very thing. Even to our adoption team, we were crazy, defiant, and difficult...all because we refused to listen to them and leave our kids in Ukraine! To them we're now just a black mark on their self-proclaimed "perfect" record of placing "perfect" kids (which I know isn't true anyway because I know lots of other families who've used this same team, even hosted their kids before adoption, and still have typcial PI issues with their kids and issues with the team.)

But in my sons' lives, we are a bright spot as they are in ours. THAT is what matters most. Yes, it's hard. Yes, it's expensive. And yes, IT IS WORTH IT!! We went where God sent us and we adopted the kids HE wanted us to and we have no regrets.

Do you mind if I add a link to your blog to my new blogroll? You're welcome to add mine if you want.

junglemama said...

Thank you Christie. Your words are amazing.

Melissa E. said...

The best discovery that I have made? In our attempts to BE a blessing, WE have been blessed beyond belief.

Christie M said...

Consider them hugged. :)

Thanks Diana, I would be happy to be added and add. :)

Thanks Christine.
Melissa, we have found the very same thing to be true.
6 years ago we were empty nesters. I had begun working full time with my husband in our business and for the first time we had a good amount of savings and were totally out of debt.
LOL- those were the boring years. :)
It was a nice vacation, but we found that there is so much more to life than planning to retire! Who says we are supposed to retire anyway? The scripture says to "work until he comes". :)
I can't think of a more rewarding job. AND, I get to be a mom all over again. It is a HUGE blessing.

Debora Hoffmann said...

Beautifully said. I so desire to give these precious children a forever family. We're starting with two and hope to adopt more as the Lord allows--I hope for four or five, but who knows what the Lord has in store! It's been hard to ask for help to bring them home, but I must remember that the money is for THEM and not for us. THEY are the ones who need the help. I pray the Lord will use us in their lives to point them in the right direction and use them mightily someday. To Him be all the glory!

Anonymous said...

Usually, I don't post on blogs, but I would like to say that this weblog really forced me to do so! Thanks, truly nice post.

Kelly said...

I couldn't agree more. I am an adoptive mom with 7 awesome special needs kiddos. I also run a minsitry to help find adoptive homes for special needs babies and toddlers. People just do not realize what a huge BLESSING these children are.

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