“I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because I'm helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time- waking and sleeping. It doesn't change God- it changes me.”
― C. S. Lewis
― C. S. Lewis
I believe in the sun even when it's not shining. I believe in love even when I don't feel it. And I believe in God even when He is silent. (quote found on the wall of a concentration camp)
Monday, May 25, 2009
A Friend To Walk With
Am I allowed to end a title like that? :)
Maybe not, but I'm just going to.... because I am so happy that I have a friend to walk with.
10 years ago, when I was quite sick, I started a walking program. I remember the first time I tried to walk, I made it down, 2 houses, turned around and came back home. I was exhausted, my back hurt and I couldn't do it. But I knew I had to.
The next morning I made it about 4 houses, and then farther, and farther, until I worked my way up to walking 4 miles a day. That exercise, combined with a raw foods diet, set me back on the track to health. I had a bunch of weight to lose, and instead of focusing on losing weight, I focused on getting healthy. Instead of thinking of my diet as a diet, I called it a LIVE IT!
It was time to eat to live, instead of live to eat and I knew it. It was hard to face that because I really didn't want to. BUT, I wanted to be healthy more than I wanted to continue down the same road.
So it was a very deliberate decision. I lost 45 lbs, and was starting to feel healthy again. It took 2 years to feel better.
I felt great for a long time, except for little bumps in the road, and then, slowly but surely, I started allowing foods back into my life that were anathema before.
Why? Sin. Plain and simple. I knew what was best and I chose what was worst.
So, weight started to come back, and little symptom here and little symptom there.
Besides that, I stopped walking. That was more understandable. We moved and there are roaming dogs in the country and no sidewalks. It was one of those "take your life into your hands" places, so I stopped. Then I started to enjoy sleeping longer, not getting up at 5:30. I still felt fine.
The girls came, and then I COULDN'T leave to go and walk. With 5 surgeries in less than 4 years, it was a struggle to find time for outside activity. Thus.... a few pounds here, a few pounds there, started to creep on.
And I found myself needing to stretch my pants abit, and a few pairs that are no longer wearable.
I would tell myself, ah, it's ok, you aren't over weight after all, you look fine, after all its only 10 lbs. Besides you are 50! Blah blah blah..... but the truth was, I was headed back for destruction, back to old addictive habits.
As I began to pray about it, I found myself faced with the fact that food is an issue for me. For me, it is a matter of self control and self discipline.
To face that square on, is what helps me to do what I know to do that is right!
I owe it to my family and my extended family to treat my body well and care for the one God gave me. It is a true matter of stewardship.
Since I lost the 45 lbs 10 years ago, I had gained back 32 lbs. And still people will say, "You're not overweight, you're not fat etc. But the truth is, I am, and I am.
Now to my great friend part. My good friend who lives down the road also wants to start walking and doing a raw food Liveit! So we are doing it together! Yea!
We started walking 8 days ago, taking Friday and Sunday off. We are walking 2 to 3 miles a day to begin, and it feels great! We drive about 2 miles down the road to the high school track at about 6 in the a.m. We are home by 7:15 and ready to start our days!
I started back on my liveit 2 weeks ago and I have lost 8.5 lbs. YEA!
The exercise with my friend is fun. We get to visit and talk, and she is also a mother with children the same age and from similar backgrounds as my children.
I am so thankful for my friend. I am so thankful that the Lord is gracious and merciful and encourages us in our hearts.
I am thankful for His Word, His Love and His Mercy. He doesn't love me any more or any less if I am healthy or not, but He has given us knowledge to use, to have a healthier body. I am thankful for the herbs of the ground He has provided for our needs. I am thankful for the foods He has created, that do not sit on a shelf with an eternal
expiration date. I am thankful for those he has given knowledge to that have studied what foods are best for our bodies to eat.
And I am thankful for dear friends, willing to get up EARLY so we can walk and talk and laugh and share each others struggles and triumphs. :)