It is funny how there are waves of ideas that come into our minds and many times fellow bloggers are thinking about the same subject.
It isn't a surprise that those who have blogged on adoption, think about it, but it is uncanny how often the same thoughts pass through our minds.
Our cyber blogger friends Steve and Melissa, whom we have never met, but share a passion for orphans and a few orphans in particular, whom have been hugged, prayed for and loved by both of us, are one of those blogger couples that I can really identify with. :)
Their boys were in our girl's orphanage. We met 2 of them, but not their little guy.
I was never so relieved to find out not only had the children been adopted, but adopted by a WONDERFUL Christian couple who had prepared themselves in every way for the mission ahead. :)
I have been thinking about the issue of how we view adoption in this country. We live in an instant access society, so different than many societies across the seas.
We want something, we buy it. It doesn't matter if we should or not, we just do it because we can.
Adoption is a very well known theme throughout scripture, and those who have trusted Christ as Lord and Savior are considered "adopted" by God. Romans 8:14-17 says,
"For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but ou have received the Spirit of adoption
as sons by whom we call "Abba Father". The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God and if children then heirs, heirs of God, and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him."
Even scripture attests that we are adopted children; are full heirs; full children, where we can be so very intimate with Him calling Him by an endearing parental name. "Abba Father" better known as "Daddy".
Likely it is the same for our children who have come to us through adoption.
In some cases, adoption is considered to fulfill a need in a household where there are no children or a limited number of children.
In other cases, adoption happens because the child has a need for parents and there are those willing to be parents to an orphan or orphans.
These families are ready to serve the Lord through parenting traumatized children.
While there is nothing wrong with expanding a family because a person cannot have children. It is very important that the adoption doesn't take place to fulfill a "need" of the parent. Parents cannot be needy. They must be complete emotionally, or there is that danger of expecting a child to "complete them".
It isn't much different than marriage. A marriage does not take 2 halves and make it one whole. It takes 2 wholes, and makes them United as one. If you are dependent upon your spouse to make you "whole", it will never happen because our only true happiness and satisfaction comes from the Lord. So at the same time, if you are dependent upon a child to satisfy a "need", it will be difficult for the child and the parent.
It is not our children's obligation in life to bring us happiness, but it is our moral and ethical obligation in Christ, to devote ourselves to raising our children in the love of Christ, bringing them up in the way they should go. (according to their bent)
Deuteronomy 6:5-7 says, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and soul and might. And these words I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way,and when you lie down and when you rise.
If we are successful as parents it will be because of the Grace of God in our lives.
Adoption isn't about us. It isn't about finding the perfect child. It isn't about head circumference, boy, girl, perfect health or facial features. It is all about pouring ourselves into another individual to bring them up in the Lord so they can in turn, break that chain, that cycle that binds them or has bound their birth family, and overcoming the odds.
Humankind is bound by sin, and only the Lord can remove it. Adoption is all about success, all about overcoming, all about triumph and all about LIFE!
That brings me to my friends once again. Steve wrote a very good article about adoption called "The Gift of Life". It is about heritage and being thankful for the mothers who give their children up so they can have a life. It is well worth reading.
To those who do not have children yet, or are wanting more children. It is perfectly ok and normal to want children. They are truly a gift. And families do become families through adoption. We did, and maybe will again. It is just important to keep the perspective that our children are not here to fulfill our dreams, but we are here to parent our children and lead them in the way they should go. They are such a blessing to us and blessed is the one who has his quiver full. :)
“I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because I'm helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time- waking and sleeping. It doesn't change God- it changes me.”
― C. S. Lewis
― C. S. Lewis
I believe in the sun even when it's not shining. I believe in love even when I don't feel it. And I believe in God even when He is silent. (quote found on the wall of a concentration camp)