I am posting this with the permission of a little girl who shall remain nameless..... :)
Pinkie promise. :)
There is a little girl, who has struggled with her math and spelling for some time now.
I have been worried about holding her back for review, as I didn't want her to get "behind".
Pretty silly for an old homeschooling mom who should know better! Duh... one major benefit of
schooling at home is to not have a one sized fits all curriculum that everybody has to fit into or they are different. LOL
So our nameless little girl began to get more frustrated... and with the school year in full swing, it was apparent to us both, she was not making it in her new math book.
But 2 days ago, all of a sudden she took a turn for the "seeming" best! She suddenly knew how to do her math and turned in a glowing paper; fake smile and all. :)
My intuition told me something I hoped wasn't true, but knew it was.
I have been through this before with an unnamed son. :) However, my reaction then, was a knee jerk reaction and not responsive.
Him.... I grounded forever! (just kidding)
With her, my heart hurt for her. She obviously felt badly enough to go to desperate measures to keep up. And I bear some responsibility for that.
When she visited me in the bathroom and told me I was beautiful, I was convinced my hunch was correct. What is beautiful after all of a 51 year old woman, just up in the a.m. and in the bathroom of all places? :)
So, I visited with her privately and asked, "Is there anything you need to tell me?" At first she said no. But then, I showed her a paper I saw tucked away near her book.
I smiled and told her I love her..... and then.....
She burst into tears. She let the whole truth spill out. She confessed her wrong and repented and asked for forgiveness; and it was genuine.
That is EXACTLY what we want our kids to do!
So we rocked in the chair for a few minutes, and talked. I confessed to her, that it was wrong to have put so much pressure on her, and that I was sorry too.
I left her in my room, so she could pray and make things right in her heart with the Lord. I told her, "When you are finished, wash your face, come out and hold your head up high, and rejoin the group."
Her sisters knew nothing of what happened yesterday, so she did exactly that.
About an hour later, it was time to go and get shots. So she and I drove to the Health Clinic alone. It gave us about 45 minutes each way to talk.... and talk she did.
On the way home, we stopped at Sonic for "Happy Hour", and we sat in the car talking.
For one of the first times since she has been home, she COMFORTABLY discussed how she had felt in the Foster Care System.
She asked questions for the very first time about her birth mother, about her circumstances of how she went to different homes, her adoption, and her confusion being a foster child.
She HERSELF, talked about the providence of God bringing her to her forever family.
And then she said something very profound....
"Mom, I always knew people thought I was bad, and I didn't know why." "But you think I'm good!" "I'm the luckiest girl in the world, because I know you love me."
She was a bit teary..... and it was a major breakthrough for her.
Today, we will be starting back in an older math book that will go back over the concepts she has yet to understand.
I am so proud of her. I am so happy that she was able to share some of her deepest fears and
tell me about some of her most painful experiences.
I am also thankful that we have a Heavenly Father who is faithful and just to forgive us from all of our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. And we walk CLEAN before our Lord as HE has paid the penalty for our sin.
“I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because I'm helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time- waking and sleeping. It doesn't change God- it changes me.”
― C. S. Lewis
― C. S. Lewis
I believe in the sun even when it's not shining. I believe in love even when I don't feel it. And I believe in God even when He is silent. (quote found on the wall of a concentration camp)