“I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because I'm helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time- waking and sleeping. It doesn't change God- it changes me.”
― C. S. Lewis
― C. S. Lewis
I believe in the sun even when it's not shining. I believe in love even when I don't feel it. And I believe in God even when He is silent. (quote found on the wall of a concentration camp)
Friday, February 12, 2010
Erika is Getting More Mature
My sweet Angel is getting more and more mature, right before my eyes!
She and I had a wonderful afternoon together. We went out for a lunch and then shopping at Target.
While we were out, I asked her, "Is there anything you want to talk about?"
Boy was there!
She asked me to tell her every single thing I knew about her Birth mother without holding anything back! Whew.
The truth is, I don't know too much, but I did know some.
So I told her everything I knew.
I finished with letting her know how scary it is to find out a child is handicapped. I was scared when Tim had his brain hemorrage. I was scared when I heard the word Cerebral Palsy.
And I bet her mom and dad were scared too. Things are different in Ukraine. It is very hard to live there.... it would be terribly hard for her to live there now.
After that, there was a pause. I asked if she was OK, and she said yes.
She then went on to ask about her early years and what we know. It isn't much.
She has a vague memory of being in stocking and laying in a crib and having her diaper changed.
She said she was very little. This must have been in a laying room.
She then has many memories of the orphanage and how much she didn't like it there. She talked happily about the day we came and how surprised she was to see us.
I turned the conversation back to God's plan for our lives, and how suffering and sorrow, play a role in life.
I let her know that we can allow suffering to make us angry and bitter, OR, it can be used as a chistleing tool to mold and shape us into pure GOLD~!
We talked about the refiner's fire, and how gold is made.
And then talked about how the Lord brought her HERE for a purpose!
She had a smile on her precious little face, and seemed very satisfied that the sting of rejection, only serves in her life to cause her to trust Christ more. She is an amazing little girl.
She understands complex things way beyond her years, and I just know the Lord has much to teach us, through her little life. :)