earlier posts, (there are 2 separate posts linked)
But the other day, I was once again surprised. I had used an Oil of Olay face wipe that I found sitting in my cabinet. I haven't used those since we were in Ukraine 4 and a half years ago. Erika came in to give me a hug and guess what she said! "Wow, that reminds me of how you smelled in Ukraine!"
Once again, I am reminded that smells can trigger memories good or bad.....
If I were to go to adopt in Ukraine again, I wouldn't wear my favorite perfume, because if that perfume were to cause a "negative" trigger, I would never be able to wear it again at home. So, I'm glad the Oil of Olay isn't one of my favorite things. LOL
Now, this did not bring back a negative memory for her, just an association; but in some kids, it COULD have, and could have sent them into a downward spiral without explanation. I'd be wondering what happened, and the whole time, what had happened was nothing but a "fragrance or smell" of what was before.
I don't know why I'm typing this, but it might help somebody out there in preparation, or somebody who is already home.
I was surprised myself that when we returned to Ukraine, the smell in the orphanage caused me to nearly panic, and I felt like I had to throw up. AND, we were JUST visiting! I had to purposefully in my mind force myself not to react to how I was feeling inside.
It makes me wonder how it is for our children? Do they feel the same way when they smell something familiar that reminds them of their orphanage life?
I remember talking with somebody a long time ago who had brought home two sons. They were older boys who remembered their parents alcoholism. When the boys saw that their new parents had wine in the house, they reacted very strongly. In fact one of the boys said a few choice words and said that his new mother would be just like his old mother.
Unfortunately, they were unwilling to remove the wine from their home to help their son transition.
The smell of it made him extremely angry. What would have been the loving thing to do?
I think it would have been to show him that he was safe, they could have removed the wine.
That is why I say, don't wear your favorite fragrance.... it may cause a problem later on. In fact, it might be a good idea, if you do wear perfume, to wear a very uncommon brand.
Just thinking out loud. :)
“I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because I'm helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time- waking and sleeping. It doesn't change God- it changes me.”
― C. S. Lewis
― C. S. Lewis
I believe in the sun even when it's not shining. I believe in love even when I don't feel it. And I believe in God even when He is silent. (quote found on the wall of a concentration camp)