I have been reflecting on the last 3 weeks..... (it will be 3 weeks on Tuesday since we got the Call for Alli) But the truth is, we got the "Call" for Alli last November. We felt then, that it was part of God's plan for her to join our family, and then things went up, down and around and around until I didn't know which end was up. In the end, we decided that the Lord knew, and it was not for us to know, but to rest in Him. It didn't make sense, then, but it does now. That is always how it is.
One of our first conversations together, Alli and I discussed God's plan. This is a new concept for her.... and as I told her we had been praying for her all along, she listened intently. She then said, "I prayed that I wouldn't have to leave my horse, but God didn't answer my prayer."
My heart broke for her. I wouldn't want to leave my horse either! "Why didn't God answer MY prayer?"
I hugged her for a few minutes and then told her about Tim, our son who has Cerebral Palsy.
I explained what happened to Tim when he was a baby, and explained what CP was, and then told her that I prayed to the Lord every single day that God would heal him, and He didn't! Instead He chose to leave our Tim with Cerebral Palsy. He chose for me to be the mama of a special needs child who would not walk for a very long time.
Back then, I didn't understand WHY God would say no. But I understand perfectly NOW. I understand how it fit into His plan! I understand how God knew what was best for Me and for Tim, and I am THANKFUL for the lessons learned in life, while raising our sweet son.
I went on to explain to Alli..... God DID answer your prayer. He said no, just like he said no to mama 30 years ago....and I am glad He did! But He didn't say NO, you can't have a horse. He said, No, I have something MUCH BETTER for you. God sees what is best for us even if it might hurt in the short term. I let her know that I believe with my WHOLE HEART that she was meant to be in our family... and she is VERY special. Right now, you may not understand that, but you will in time! YOU WILL! Just like Mama does now....
She has embraced the idea, that she is a big part of God's plan, and she is actually excited about it.....
Who knows, someday, we may have a horse! :)
“I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because I'm helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time- waking and sleeping. It doesn't change God- it changes me.”
― C. S. Lewis
― C. S. Lewis
I believe in the sun even when it's not shining. I believe in love even when I don't feel it. And I believe in God even when He is silent. (quote found on the wall of a concentration camp)