“I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because I'm helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time- waking and sleeping. It doesn't change God- it changes me.”
― C. S. Lewis
― C. S. Lewis
I believe in the sun even when it's not shining. I believe in love even when I don't feel it. And I believe in God even when He is silent. (quote found on the wall of a concentration camp)
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
The "Self Control" Tool
One of the tools we put in our tool box at the hotel was "Self Control". I explained to Alli that how we feel at any given moment isn't right or wrong, it is what we DO with how we feel. There is nothing wrong with feeling frustrated.... all of us feel frustrated sometimes, it is what we DO when we are frustrated.
Teaching our children to give their frustration to the Lord is so important. He is the bearer of our burdens and does such a great job bearing our burdens when we let Him! But when we try to take things into our own hands, and bear them ourselves, that is when we get muddled in our thinking and things don't go so well....
Alli and I discussed this a few times before we came home, and I prepared her that she would need to be ready to use her tool box.
Well, the night before last, we started to build a dog house for the dogs. Daddy is actually building more like a caddilac dog hotel! It is REALLY cool. I'll take a picture when it is finished. :)
Alli had it in her mind that we were going to paint it right away. We explained that we cannot paint it until it is finished.
She began to hyper focus on the painting and wasn't enjoying the building and then.... she got frustrated... "What are we going to do if we don't paint it! Where are the dogs going to sleep if it isn't finished! and so on".....
We realized that she was starting to get upset, it was suggested that she use her tools.... "Open your tool box quick! Which tool should you use?" :)
She quickly said, "My self control tool?" YES! That is right!
So we took some deep breaths and stayed in rhyhm with each other.... after about 10 breaths, she was calm, and then we talked about what was going to happen with the dog house and the painting. She was able to express her disappointment about not painting right then, but understood why and accepted it and even helped....
These are HUGE strides for a little one with such a trauma background. :) We are celebrating each success!