Oh My, what a day! It started out with having to go to a funeral home to get a paper that we could READ, so we could sign it, for our late friend Phil Stuart. He died last month and has been at a funeral home awaiting cremation.
Apparently he purchased an insurance policy with our name on it as the recipient. It has been a legal hassle trying to make sure we are not liable for expenses we cannot take on. It was worth the hour drive to get it over with and clarify everything..... everything this funeral home faxed us was totally unreadable, but they wanted us to sign it! NO WAY! They got snotty and we talked to an attorney.
In the end.... Mr. Stuart will be cremated.... a sad end, to a sad life.
After that, we headed to Scottish Rite Hospital so we could get Erika a new sock holder. She broke hers and I couldn't find how to order one.....they were on our way.... so we stopped there. I let the girls play in the park for awhile and they had some fun!
And then it was time to head home.
Alli started asking about lunch, which was running late since we were on the road and had another 45 minutes before we got home.
She started to whine, and then get mad because we wouldn't stop for fast food. Everybody was willing to wait so we could make ham sandwiches, except Alli. :(
I should have been more on top of things... but I still had much to do...finishing up Sarah's post placement report for Ukraine, and then starting on the home refinance paperwork.
Have I ever mentioned how much I HATE paperwork!!!!!!
Somehow, I HAVE to get over this.
Anyway, one of the girls said, "I'm so hungry I could eat Garbage!" To which Miss Alli said, "There's nothing wrong with eating garbage! We used to do it all the time in Russia. People throw away perfectly good food! Then it dawned on me, she was so upset because she really was hungry and that fear of not having food came back to her.....
I told her we were just a few minutes away. Honestly, had we been more than 5 minutes away I would have pulled over and bought her something. I used to have to do that with Sarah if I forgot to pack a snack in my purse. She would just panic when she got hungry.
Alli is in that place right now. She eats enough for 3 little girls and I am glad she does! I'll have to remember though to make sure and have a snack in my purse for times like these. :)
Today did have a rough edge to it. Alli does much better on a more structured schedule. When things are unplanned and off schedule, she reacts. Today was a big reactive day.
I think I put out more little fires!
While we purchased the bunk beds, they are not yet put together.
While we planned to go to the lake and library, we could not go. They will have to wait until tomorrow when we are more regulated.
Erika, Anna and Sarah were all very understanding... and looking forward to tomorrow.
As I was talking to her, another thing came to mind:
This is Alli's anniversary for coming to the United States. She has been here 2 years now. Those internal clocks really know how to wreak havoc on a child. I decided to explain it to her and she listened. She had memories coming out from all over the place. It was like a geyser letting off steam.
She was going over all the families she was in.... and then asked, "How do I know THIS is the right family? She was very concerned..... It hurts my heart so, to see her struggle... and I know that she has EVERY reason to wonder....because NOTHING has lasted in her life, especially these last 2 years.
And then she was calm.....
1 hour later:
Right now, she is letting off steam once again as I type, because I explained to her why we could not go to the lake.
Poor little girl. I feel so sad for her. She has had so much upheavel in her life.
30 minutes later:
I went into Alli's room and asked if I could talk to her. She was so ashamed of herself. :( I told her how much I love her, and we just need to take a deep breath and start over. I told her I was sad that we could not go to the lake, because my white chicken legs really do need to get a tan! She started laughing..... and then I talked her about how hard changes are and how scary they are. But we are committed to see her succeed!
We had a great evening after the daily grind, even though we didn't go to the lake.... And Alli said she really wanted to try to not argue or talk back.
So we came up with a plan..... When she gets argumentative (which she REALLY doesn't notice unless it is pointed out, as it has been a life long habit, we will use the code word "bananas".
If I say "Bananas Alli" she'll know it is time to "zip it"! (her words) :) And it will be just between her and me, so she doesn't get embarrassed. She seems thrilled with the idea..... We'll see how it works! :)
2 hours later:
Well, we almost got the bunk bed put together.... the bottom is done, but the top has 1 leg that is a bottom leg. So we had to stop for the night. We'll decide tomorrow if Mike will drill some extra holes in the leg to make it right, or if we take it back to down town Dallas...... ( I hope he is in a hole drilling mood) :)
I know we are going to have many of these times where we move forward and backwards.... but both of us have seen that she has moved WAY forward!
Before she went to bed a few minutes ago she snuggled up and said "I love you!"
I said, "I love you too!" now repeat after me: "I am in the RIGHT FAMILY! I KNOW I'm in the right Family!" She did, with a big smile and skipped off to bed. :)
Such was our up and down day. Everybody is in a good place right now, happily chatting and going off to bed.
I think I need a bath..... CALGON???? :)
30 seconds later: Daddy came in and said, "I'm going to drill the holes!" And now the beds are put together and everybody is really excited. Too excited to go to sleep.
Calgon will have to wait until tomorrow. :)
Sarah is on my bed waiting for me to come in and have a talk. She is going through such a cute stage.
Mike has asked me to make him a pot of coffee, he still has work to do. Love my selfless man.
I am off to talk to my girl.
“I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because I'm helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time- waking and sleeping. It doesn't change God- it changes me.”
― C. S. Lewis
― C. S. Lewis
I believe in the sun even when it's not shining. I believe in love even when I don't feel it. And I believe in God even when He is silent. (quote found on the wall of a concentration camp)