courtesy of ME! Turned into a BCLC moment....
Today started out as a great day. Everything was going well... Alli was very excited about her treasures from the Euro Deli and said some really sweet things.
Then....all of a sudden.... there was complaining, there was arguing, there was demanding, and it went on and on and on and on......
There was the story cd in the bedroom she insisted she didn't want to hear because it distracted her from playing. When I went into the room to check, she had brought a BOX of dirt into the bedroom to make a "habitat" for her fake frog, onto the white carpet. LOL
I very nicely told her to please take the dirt outside, we cannot have dirt in the house like that. She pointed out that I have plants with dirt in them all over! "So Why Can't I?" I told her it wouldn't be fair to the old vacuum cleaner. She then proceeded to pout and pout and argue and argue.... and I was not budging. "Go take your dirt outside. The frog habitat will have to stay outside."
And then, it was time for chores. She complained about doing her part and how she always has to do more and that it isn't fun and that she is tired and how everybody leaves everything everywhere on purpose and.... and.... and......
I also had to purchase crutches for Sarah. She is having trouble with her leg and can't wear a prosthetic right now. Alli asked to play with the crutches. I said, yes, but if Sarah needs them, she must give them to her.
When Sarah needed them, she said, "She doesn't really need them...." So , I had to take them away for good while Sarah is needing them.
After several hours....
Mama, blew it. Her voice was getting louder and I got louder.... and I said, STOP!!!! NOW!!!! STOP IT!
AND SHE SAID, "I don't like it that you raised your voice!"
I said, "I don't like it that you have been raising your voice all day!"
And she said, "NO! NOT ALL DAY! I played with Sarah for about 10 minutes and we went to the store! THAT IS NOT ALL DAY!"
And I said, "Since Noon! It is now 4:oo!"
"Well, just because I raised my voice doesn't mean you should!" Hello!
And then..... I said, "YOU ARE RIGHT.... I SHOULDN'T AND I DID!"
And You are WRONG! You shouldn't EVER raise your voice to mama!
And so, we went to the rocking chair and started over. WHEW!
So, since she has had so many opinions on my parenting today, I made her the parent and I became her.
I did my best to act like her, sound like her and do all the famous facial movements.....She watched with amusement and when it was her turn to instruct me, she blurted out..... "I have NO IDEA WHAT TO SAY! I'm just a kid! I don't want to be the mom!" LOL
Yes, she takes her role play seriously. :)
We then had a talk about trust. And I was able to tell her how much I love her. After that we snuggled for a while and we came up with some ideas on how to get out of the bad habits she has formed over all the years.
We talked about how hard it is, because it IS a habit. She responded well to Bananas, but today I didn't do it. She has responded very well to prayer and breathing... but today, I didn't do that either.
So when the right time came, I told her that I KNOW she CAN do it! She can do VERY WELL, and I also know it is hard work.... just like it is for me to be a mom. Just like she couldn't think of one thing to tell me when she was pretending to be me.... sometimes it is just that hard for me to be a mom too.
I want so much to help her see that there are some destructive behaviors that she MUST rule over!
"If you want to control something, control your temper!" LOL
I guess today was a 2 steps back day. :) I know she is feeling anxious about me taking Erika and Sarah to camp on Monday, and that will be the first time we have been separated.
Daddy is making plans for a fun filled week for Himself, Anna and Alli.
Somehow, I think everything will be ok, in spite of my personal failure today.
And since about 5:00, she has been a perfect little angel. It is now 9:20! :)
Glad we finished this day off like it started. :)
“I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because I'm helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time- waking and sleeping. It doesn't change God- it changes me.”
― C. S. Lewis
― C. S. Lewis
I believe in the sun even when it's not shining. I believe in love even when I don't feel it. And I believe in God even when He is silent. (quote found on the wall of a concentration camp)