His Mercy

"His Mercies Are New Every Morning"

A Thought

In this life we can not always do great things. But we can do small things with great love.." :) Mother Teresa

Prayer Quote

“I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because I'm helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time- waking and sleeping. It doesn't change God- it changes me.”
― C. S. Lewis


I believe in the sun even when it's not shining. I believe in love even when I don't feel it. And I believe in God even when He is silent. (quote found on the wall of a concentration camp)

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Sunday, July 31, 2011


Today, our teaching Elder spoke on Adoption.  He was speaking about the Adoption of the Believer in Christ.  Two of the verses he used were:
Galations 4:1-7 and 1 John 3:1.

In Christ, we become ADOPTED sons and daughters of the most high God.  We become JOINT HEIRS... we have a FULL inheritance awaiting us.  We are not treated differently, than God's first born son Jesus Christ.  We are Co-Heirs WITH Him.  That is so amazing to me.  I am an adopted Child, in Christ.

There were times long ago when  I didn't feel like I belonged. Sometimes I felt less than, undeserving, unlovable, imperfect, like I'd never make it.  I felt frustrated and there was much I didn't understand about my "standing" in Christ. I needed to be reminded and refreshed and God was and is ever so patient with me. SO PATIENT and LOVING, offering tender mercies that are new every morning.   His word washes my soul as I read it. I have great confidence that He listens to my prayers and He cares about me, as His child.   He has caused me to TRUST in Him.... He has caused me to change... to see things differently, to be excited about life, and to really LIVE.... sometimes I go backwards and forget who I am .... He is ALWAYS there to catch me, to turn me around and guide me back onto the right track and to remind me of who I am in Christ Jesus.  GOD NEVER GIVES UP ON US!

As I was listening to this sermon this a.m. and pondering adoption in General, it really struck me how God USES the institution of Adoption as an example to us of how he LOVES us and considers US his Children.  He is the perfect example for us to follow!

When parents adopt,  they  bring a child in, who has no understanding of what their new last name even means. Some children have no idea about how a family works or what a family even is! Then, parents  lavish great love upon their child, imparting knowledge and understanding to him.  As the child begins to be familiar with the parent, a relationship starts to bud and grow and the Child LOVES the parents. 
There will be times when the child may have doubts about that love. They may struggle with not feeling like they really belong... and  parents, once again  reassure; "YES, YOU ARE MINE! YOU BELONG!"
You really REALLY do!
And the child becomes aware that they are FULLY and REALLY REALLY a family member.  They have an INHERITANCE that is JUST the same as any other child in that family.  They BELONG and they are SECURE in the LOVE of their parents.

They begin to go to their parents for understanding and comfort. They begin to assimilate into family life and enjoy the benefits of being cared for and nurtured by loving parents. They begin to care about and foster relationships with brothers and sisters and aunts and uncles; all part of their new family. The more they understand, the more secure they feel. The more they interact, the more they become LIKE their family.

And the parents.... begin to understand EVEN MORE , their own standing before a Holy God.  They are safe and secure and REALLY REALLY part of an ACTIVE spiritual family, being conformed into the Image of their older brother, Jesus Christ :)

As my girls sat and listened along with us, I saw them all smiling. Yes, they are doubly adopted. :)

Tonight, Alli was looking at all the knick knacks that surround the living room shelves. She was asking about the history of several different things. I told her, "You know, someday, your and your brothers and sisters will INHERIT all this stuff."  She smiled and said, "Well then be sure and take good care of it!" LOL

She has come so far in 5 months. I cannot believe it will be 5 months on Tuesday! WOW! What an amazing time it has been.  She has very much become a Minich. :)

The New Comode

Thank you! THANK YOU! To my Wonderful Husband who installed this beauty in the ladies' bathroom!
I never knew a toilet could break, but the old one must have been worn out.....so we got this one! And the cool thing is, it has "Power Flush".... the kind you get at the stores.   Sooo cool and uses less water.
So how's that for a blog post. LOL

Saturday, July 30, 2011

The Captain in His Ship

This has been a rather sad summer for Mike. He LOVES his boat,  skiing and dragging the girls across the lake. At the end of summer last year, the transom (back of the boat) started taking in water.  During his spare time, over the winter, he took the entire back of the boat off and rebuilt it.  It was a HUGE job. Then, the unthinkable happened. When he removed the motor and sat it aside, he forgot about it, and didn't winterize it.  The block cracked.... so he had to completely redo the motor too.  Poor guy.....

Sooooo after a LONG repair, and more frustrations than can be spoken...... I heard the motor running once again! He finished the transom about a month ago and the motor went in this week...... 

He threw in some new seats for fun...... and I suspect, we will be on the lake before Summer is over. :)
Good thing, it is predicted to be 107 and 108 next week!

So here is the Captian in his ship, and a few excited onlookers!

The Adoption Quilt

The Adoption Quilt is leaving to the Deuck's House on Monday.  We didn't get a bid on it that was 50 dollars, so we decided to get the ball rolling anyway. Erika sewed our name into the quilt, and after the Deuck's have enjoyed, it..... it will be going up for auction again, for another adoptive family of their choice. They will sew their name into it, and send it on.
We really hope it catches on and goes all over the U.S. with hopes and prayers for the newest recipient.
Can't wait to see it at the Deuck's home. :)

I think she signed it "John Hancock" style!


Today has been relaxed yet busy. It was a good sort of busy.  I broke down and got rid of some old clothes that I KNOW is will never fit in wear anymore.  Awww that felt SO GOOD to not have to stare at my closet... now I know exactly What I can wear and Where it is located!
I also got rid of some books to make room for other books. I hate getting rid of books, but there comes a point where there just isn't any room.  Sometimes I dream of empty book shelves and a simple "Kindle" sitting on the shelf next to a potted plant...... but that would just be too boring.  I REALLY love having my books around. They are like old friends. You love to see them, even if you don't pay that much attention to them every day.

The girlies helped quite a bit, and then afternoon hit.  They got a case of the "I don't know what to do's."
Sarah and Alli wanted to walk to the store with Anna, but Anna wanted to finish her book. I am not quite ready to turn Alli and Sarah onto the streets alone quite yet.   Sarah is still a little scared to go without Anna, which tells me she is too young and not ready. Of course Miss Alli is ready to conquer the world, so she was a bit unhappy at the thought of not going for a long walk to the store.
Alli doesn't yet appreciate the loveliness of a good book.  She will soon, as her reading is improving so much!
So, I suggested to them that it might be fun to wash the cars.  The looks were amazing! They spoke a 1,000 words.... "Mother Dear, you can't be serious!"  (of course this is what I read through their angelic little eyes). :)

Sarah, took the bite, and off she went to start on the car.
She started having fun with the hose, and before I knew it, Alli was all excited about joining in...

then Erika...
and Finally Anna finished her book and she joined too. :)
But she didn't want her picture on the blog. It was a pretty picture... with a nice smile..... but alas, I will be respectful and not post it. :/
 And now the cars are clean, the girls are happy and there is more to do! There is ALWAYS more to do!

Thursday, July 28, 2011

My Duck

23 years ago, my friend bought this duck for me for my birthday.  I have loved this duck for years. It reminds me of my friend who moved to Colorado years ago.
This duck has been sitting guard on top of the water cooler all these years.
Tonight, Alli noticed that we needed water and decided she would fill the bottle. She didn't see my Duck, and it fell to the floor and lost a finger. BROKEN!

I seem to remember a few weeks ago a Pitcher that got broken thanks to Miss Erika.....

In both cases, it was an accident.  Poor Alli really felt badly.  She went to her bed to have a cry.
When I went in to see her, she was curled up with her blanket over her head.  I said,  "Alli, you are more important than things."
And, I want to tell you a story about your brothers.

This peaked her interest!
So I told her about the first time Dad and I left the house for  a date together after we had married.

"We left Chuck in charge and we were going to be gone for 45 minutes to an hour.
In that short time..... Chuck decided to entertain his brothers with his cool Ninja moves.  Now, in the same room that he planned his entertainment fest.... on the wall, were my collectible, ceramic bears. I had all sorts of them, on a neat wooden shelf.  I really liked them.

Of course Chuck, in his final move, used a large stick..... related to the BROOM, moved it cooly, jumping through the room like a TRUE NINJA , swung that stick and DECAPITATED every single one of my bears......

When dad and I got home, all 4 boys were sitting nicely on the couch. This gave us great discomfort, as this was not NORMAL..... I was so proud of Chuck.... "Mom, I have something to tell you."
As he was telling me his story, I turned to my bears and OH HOW I WISH I HAD A PICTURE..... they all had their heads sort of sat back on them, all crooked like.... and I burst out laughing....it was really pretty funny.

So, in the same way I am not happy that everything gets destroyed. I'm happy that all of my children are ok, and I'm happy you were just trying to help..... and in a few years, this will just be a funny story. :)"

And with that, she felt MUCH better, and she kissed me goodnight and went to sleep, safe and secure in our love for her.  :)
And Chuck would have had no idea that something he did  22 years ago, would help his little sister feel secure.  Thanks Chuck! You are still a great big brother. :)

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

A New Goo Recipe

 There's my happy girl. :)
Ever since Alli and I were in North Carolina at the Children's Museum, she has been longing to make goo. She just LOVES it; the feel the texture, the sheer squishiness.  Well, after several different tries, she has PERFECTED her goo.
So here is Miss Alli, giving directions on how to make her goo!
And it really works!

Letting Go Of Things

I posted yesterday about our mortgage situation here
Well, today EVERYTHING changed!  I couldn't control what happened yesterday and let it go as "that is the way things are".
Today, our agent called us back and said, "We on BACK ON!" YEA!!!!!

Apparently there was some confusion about our homestead, our other property and something about us living in the same state. LOL
It is ALL being taken care of, so we are back to refinancing!   This was such a blessing to hear!
I am so glad that the Lord is teaching me to let things go that I cannot control. 

Now, hopefully that lesson will be learned when it comes to my broken down body.  Logically, I can accept how things are.... but emotionally, it is upsetting. I DO NOT LIKE not being able to function like a normal person. 
I know, that sounds weird coming from a mom with kids with special needs...... BUT I'M the one who has to CARE FOR THEM!  I don't have time to be cared for......
That is what I tell myself. 
However, I have seen some helping hands stepping up to the plate to help mom.  I am so proud of my girlies. :)

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

What Ever My God Ordains is Right

This is one of my favorite songs right now...... "What Ever My God Ordains Is Right"
When combined with Romans 8:28 - "And we know that for those who love God, All THINGS work together for good, for those who are called according to HIS purpose."  I can rest in my Lord and know that I am in GOOD hands. HIS hands.

Today was a really hard day for me. It had nothing to do with the girls. They have been AWESOME all day long.... In FACT, the Lord used each of them to minister to my heart today.  They were so loving and kind today.
It seems silly to whine..... but I am going to whine just a little.....
We had tried to sell our old house more than once, and nothing has happened, so I got the bright idea to refinance it.  Everything was looking great and we were set to close on August 5th, and then the deal came to a SCREECHING halt.
I got a call today that because of the type of loan we have on that house, it cannot be refinanced unless it is our PRIMARY residence.  It isn't.
So, just at the point I thought a payment would be cut in 1/2, it is remaining the same. :(

And then, I lifted a bag of dog food yesterday.... not too large of one, just 15 lbs.... but the angle I used to put it in the basket sort of hurt. And now, my arm is hurting, especially around my elbow and forearm... and my skin feels rather burny...... (is that a word?)  and my shoulder is hurting and it is HAUNTINGLY similar to what happened to me 2 years ago when I got a frozen shoulder. It took a YEAR plus to get over that, (I'm at 90 % now) and the pain was unbearable for almost 6 months......because of a brain/nerve problem..... Do you hear my fear talking?  Yes.... I am actually afraid....because it was so bad last time.

So, right now I'm doing all I can to prevent a repeat. :( AND, I'm trying to rest in the Lord, knowing that HE knows all that I have to do around here; all the responsibilities, all the work..... and that I NEED my left hand. I'm left handed!

The good news I found out about the refinance thing is:  They are going to save all our paperwork, and tomorrow, we can start a refinance on THIS house, and knock the payment down.... Our plan will be to take the extra money to pay off the other one as fast as possible, and we are planning to rent it out too.
If this economy ever recovers, we might be able to sell it eventually!

I am THANKFUL that we are in a position to even have a home. I have been in situations where I didn't even have money for rent or food, so I know that we are not there and I am TRULY thankful.

The Lord must be teaching me to LOVE paperwork.... it is one of my nightmares, yet it seems I have not been able to escape it for the last 8 years.   It seems that my WEAKEST area on the planet, is paperwork and organizing paperwork, yet it is a major part of my days.  And Mike has me doing the same thing in the office, as much as I can....

WHAAAAAA!!!!! Ok... Pity party over.....
But I have to say, when I took those vocational tests in High school...... I scored 99% in ENGINEERING and 5% YES FIVE PERCENT in secretarial skills.......
I am truly being stretched.

A Day At Celebration Park

There is a really cool park not far from us that I have taken the girls to a few times. Today we went for lunch. 3 decided to get wet, 1 decided to read her new book..... and I decided to take pictures. :)

Monday, July 25, 2011


Oh my! My sweetie is growing up!  12 1/2 and oh so lovely. :)  Anna is such a good big sister.
She is so good for Alli. She understands her so very well.  I just really appreciate her insights.
She decided to not waste her clipons.... so she has her new pierced earrings AND her clip ons ..... :)

Mama and Alli

I was able to share with Alli some very important personal information that I just found out about.  She was very thankful to hear it.  And I got this big, huge hug. :)


 Several years ago, Aunt Carla purchased these for us for Christmas.... We still have them.
Today, Miss Alli was in a bit of a "mood" and talked back.  When I asked her to please not talk
back, she said, "I can't help it! I can't just NEVER talk back....."    It was one of those moments of being right and WRONG!
Yes dear, I understand that you will most likely have another moment of talking back, but that does not mean you can INDULGE just because you know it will happen again.

So, I asked her to sit down by me. I was not prepared to speak, and I needed her to patiently wait until I could come up with some sort of wisdom to impart to her.  She sat, and waited..... I asked her..... "Do you know what it is to be punished?"  She said yes! I was punished ALL the time before!

No, I mean do you know what it is to be punished properly?  She said no....... (me digging hole)

So, why was  I headed down the punishment road?  Most likely because I was irritated.
 And that is not a reason to punish.

Which brings me to why I don't really punish..... HOWEVER, we do discipline! 

Having her sit next to me and patiently wait, was most likely the best thing, because she calmed down.  She also saw that I don't always have instant answers.......

I figured some humor was needed, so I asked her....."Miss Alli, have you ever viewed the Family Jewels?"  She said, no....insert  puzzled look....
So I got out the jewels from my desk drawer where they have been nestled for years. :)  I carefully opened the box and said, "THESE are the FAMILY JEWELS!"
I lowered my voice to a "MYSETERIOUS and SERIOUS" tone and whispered, "watch carefully".....
I took the jewels into my hand and rotated them around and she could hear them make music.... and then I said, "A-HA!  I've got it!"
She had a surprised look on her face! "What mama!"
How about if YOU don't talk back to mama! How about if you DON'T use excuses when you do and instead say, 'I'm Sorry! And also ask the Lord to help you!"
She had this big smile and said, Ok mama.

I placed the jewels back into the container and then Miss Alli gave me a hug and said, "Mama, I really am sorry! I don't know why I did that. I'll try harder."

And that is ALL I wanted to hear. :)
And then she asked.... "Can I hold those?"   LOL

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Martian Child! Watch It!

This movie is one of our favorites. There is so much we can identify with. :) It is based upon a true story, and in the special features of the DVD, you meet the real Martian Child, who is now a well adjusted adult. :)
Why do I love this movie so much?  For several reasons....

1. It gives parents who have difficult children HOPE
2. It is realistic in what happens to children who have been traumatized.
3. It covers MUCH of the opinions of people who do not understand adoption.
4. It shows how unconditional love can HEAL.

It is rated PG, and we DID allow our girls to see it.   If your children are struggling,  it might be too much for them. 
This is a movie I think should be a pre requisite for every parent to see BEFORE they adopt.

Tonight We Celebrated!

Would you believe I forgot my camera!!!!!

Oh well.  Tonight we celebrated Alli's adoption finalization!  She picked the famous "Chuck E Cheese" for her celebration. :)

Before we went, we had a bible study at the local Nursing Home. Mike is such a great leader. He spends wonderful time with several people there who cannot get out for worship service, every Sunday evening.

Chuck E Cheese was open until 10:00, so we stayed the entire time!  The girlies had a great time, and I actually played some games. :) 


Last night I wrote about the "Mysterious Nibbler".
I concocted a plan to find out "who" it was.
This a.m. I asked, "Who would like a piece of chocolate!"
Erika came running, Sarah came running.... and then Sarah saw the package and said,
"EWWW! Not that kind!"

And then.... my little sweetie. :)  She said when we were watching Sense and Sensibility the other day she asked if she could have chocolate and I said yes. The only chocolate left was that kind. EWWWW.
Ummm. next time, can you throw the 1/2 eaten part away?  yes. Problem solved....

Wow, I wish it was that easy to catch a mouse! :)

Saturday, July 23, 2011


 I  had to laugh when I opened the fridge and saw this!  Now I am not sure WHO it is.... but I have my suspicions based upon the teeth marks in the chocolate!  Somehow, the little darling didn't look closely enough at the package to see:

So they left it there, to be rejected and uneaten...... Now, when I was a child, I would have never done something like that! NO! I went straight for the butter!  I could never figure out how my mom knew I had bitten butter.... (of course I was much younger)  The gap in my teeth led my mom to the culprit every single time!

I think I might ask anybody if they would like some chocolate tomorrow and hold up the package. The person who says "NO!"  They will be my guilty party. LOL

A Passage

Anna and Sarah are both 12.  They decided that it was time to have their ears pierced.  They had mentioned it before, and played around with clip on earrings for a long time.... but today was the day.
After daddy made sure they understood that true beauty comes from inside, and while there is nothing wrong with wanting to wear earrings or look pretty; it is WAY more important that your hearts are pretty.

And then:  They went and had it done!  They did rock, paper, scissors to see who the first victim would be:
Sarah went first. :)
and then Anna:

I think they are both lovely inside and out! :)


HA! I caught her in the act of delivering breakfast! :)  Thankyou!

Wednesday, July 20, 2011


One of the great things about being a parent; you never quit learning.  I have been learning to be a better parent for 32 plus years now, and I'm still learning. :)  There is always a way to improve, because there are always ways to fail!
Why are there always ways to fail?  Because Humans are Human! This means our kids fail AND we fail.
We are all in the same boat! And with my analogy from the other night on saying you are sorry; folks who know a water fall is coming, do everything they can to turn away from the danger!

In the same way, if one's parenting style is not working, ESPECIALLY with a child who has a trauma background, or emotional baggage or RAD, or any other label, it seems to make sense to do everything possible to NOT go over the epic waterfall!

If What you are doing is NOT working, then, how is doing the same thing, day in and day out going to change anything?
Time for a new way to think, and a new way to parent!

Obviously there are tried and true BIBLICAL objectives held in Scripture that we MUST obey and abide by.... "Be Kind!"  "A SOFT Answer turns away WRATH!"  "Fathers, DON'T Exasperate your children!"
"Father's Don't FRUSTRATE your children!"  (I did this one today) "Encourage one another" "Pray for one another!"  "Be patient" "Be forgiving" "Be long suffering"
 "Teach your children" "LOVE your children" "Be tender hearted"...... these are OBVIOUSLY parenting paradigms that are a must in the ole' tool box!  and the list goes on and on and on.......

It is so interesting how scripture does not say that you should be harsh with your children.
It does not say to lash out at them in anger.  It does not say to make them angry. It does not say to punish them for every wrong they do.  It does not say to yell at them. It does not say to be disrespectful to them or to take all of their rights away as a human being.  It doesn't say any of those things.
And  it CERTAINLY does not say to hit them with a wooden spoon, or punish them for not obeying the very first time.
What it DOES say to parents is to discipline them. To teach them, with the methods CLEARLY layed out in scripture on how to treat others.
Children are PEOPLE, not objects.   Sometimes I think people treat their animals better than their children.
God is our heavenly Father.  I have heard many times people say, "God spanks us"..... really? When?
How?  Are you talking about the loving correction of the Holy Spirit in our lives?  The conviction of the soul through the reading of the word?  There is correction in there, but it is a loving correction of a Father to His child. 

In teaching our children to love each other and to be loving, we MUST be that example to them.
Just as God has been that example to us.
Tonight, I think some of that teaching payed off.  Tonight I over heard Alli and Sarah talking.  Alli said something about her adoption being final and she wanted to celebrate.  Sarah said, "You know what Alli? Do you know what it means?  It means that you are my sister for EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER... and I'll love you FOREVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER......and there were a few more EVER's thrown in for good measure.
I called Sarah out of bed, and told her, "I am really so happy about what I heard you say to your sister tonight. :)"  She said, "Mama, she needed to hear it!"  :) And then I couldn't resist getting them both out of bed for a photo. :)

I think we ALL need to hear it again and again and again...... I really do!   "I love you FOREVER, FOREVER, FOREVER.... and MAKE IT SO!

Making Our World A Little Smaller

It is an American problem I think..... But it is one that is a constant battle, and one I REALLY need to win.
So today, we tackled the girl's room.
I cannot believe how much stuff has been accumulated.  There is barbie stuff, clothing, inherited clothing, books, tapes, cd's, toys, art supplies, knitting yarn, sewing things, games......Really, when you think about it, how much STUFF does a person need?

When I was growing up, we had a VERY limited amount of personal things.  Pretty much, each person had enough stuff to fit into a small box.  This was a rather good idea!   It sure made it easy to keep things clean.

Today, I talked to the girls about making our world abit easier to manage. Too many things is not a good thing. They all agreed and we spent the day, a very HOT day, paring down on stuff mart.

Next, I'll work on my own personal stuff mart.  There is clothing I will NEVER wear, mostly.....
My goal is to have STUFF gone and a much more manageable household, by the time school starts.

That is a huge goal, since we start in 3 weeks. :)


Don't forget to thank your chicken today!  Yes, our famous back door chicken is now laying eggs on the front porch.... right on my table cloth! LOL 

Thank you Crazy Chicken! You saved me a trip to the coop. :)

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

"WELL I'M SORRY! vs..."I'm Sorry"

This was the talk of the evening.  What does it mean when you say you are sorry?  What is it to be "sorry"?
What is included in TRULY being Sorry?

We had this discussion tonight after Miss Alli's behavior exited stage left.   In trying to get her back on track, she continued to dig a deep hole of words with no meaning..... including "WELL I'M SORRY THEN! OK!"   ummm. no, not ok.

"YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME! YOU DON'T THINK I'M SORRY! as every fiber of her being is saying she isn't sorry, and there is not a reason to believe her. The VERY thing she is doing is what got her into hot water in the first place! LOL

This conversation went on for a while, and then I had enough. Time for bed. Of course there were the protests and then a few things flew off the bed.... and now into the abyss. They will not be back.
As we do not tolerate EVER throwing anything.  Anna learned this the hard way.... Apparently Miss Alli will have to learn it that way too.

So, after all was calm, and peaceful.... I asked to speak with her once again. This time we had a real conversation.  She went right back into defense mode.  I stopped her and let her know I was not going to tolerate another conversation like that.  And then I asked her.... "What does I'm sorry mean?"
She said, "It means I'm sorry!"  But what does it mean?  You know, it means I'm sorry!
Can you use another word? No
Can you describe what a sorry person means? No

So, I decided to try and explain to her what truly SORRY means.
I told her, if you are in a boat on a river and the river is about to end and there is a dangerous waterfall, the person in the boat would turn the other way and get away from the waterfall. They wouldn't say, "Yep, there's a waterfall and then just go over it!"

In the same way, if you are behaving in a certain way, and realize you are wrong and say you are sorry... you don't keep doing the same behavior!  You TURN the other way... you STOP the behavior that is wrong and behave differently.
It is called having a REPENTANT heart.  Somebody who repents of wrong, stops the direction they are going, and turns the other way.... they go from doing wrong, to doing right, just like the guy in the boat turns his boat around and goes away from danger to safety.

A person who is SORRY isn't going to say, "Well, I'm sorry then! and then have a bad attitude because they have been corrected!"  They are going to understand that they did wrong, REALIZE they are truly WRONG In their heart, feel BADLY about that wrong and tell the PERSON they wronged that they are TRULY sorry, they were wrong in what they did, how they acted or what they said, and then they will ask the other person to forgive them.  THEN... they will STOP the behavior and act in a way that is acceptable!

The reason dear I didn't believe you were sorry, was because You didn't ACT sorry. You weren't sorry.
You were angry at being corrected.  That is NOT sorry.

Now, do you understand what sorry is?  Yes.

And then we talked about how each of us fail each and every day, and only in a repentant heart can we try to do better. We cannot do it on our own. We need the Lord to help us...and He is the one we go to for strength to change our behavior.  HE changes us. We cannot change ourselves.
Alli believes this, yet falls back on old behaviors now and then.

I told her the most godly people there are, live a DAILY life of repentence before God.... we are ALL sinners in need of a Savior. Each of us....Mommy and Daddy included.

Coming to terms of the human condition, with a child who has a trauma background can be a very tricky walk.  Truth needs to be understood, yet the delivery of truth is so very important.
Getting to the truth and understanding it, is the pathway to healing.  Yes, you do things wrong, but our love for you does not change. Yes you sin, but God is faithful and just to forgive and cleanse.
These truths, when they are embraced, HEAL.....

Monday, July 18, 2011

One Child At A Time

The big picture is overwhelming....  BUT..... Can we LOVE one Child at a Time?  Can we answer the CALL?   Don't forget God's Call to help the Widow and Orphan.....

I think sometimes we underestimate the Grace of the Lord Jesus in our lives. We underestimate the Power God gives us to press on through His Spirit.  We look at pictures of children who are deemed "less than" by society, and sometimes in our hearts we think..... "I can't!"  "Not me!"  What about later? What about the future?  What about my family?  What about my free time?  What about my outside activities? Would it be fair to my other family members?  and the thoughts go on and on and on.....

The one thing we forget to think about is the absolute BLESSING that a child who is "differently abled" brings to our lives.  We forget about the sweet smile... the response to our love....the little fingers wrapping around ours for the very first time. We forget that each little soul who seems lost in a sea of beds, is a PERSON... a very distinct person.... with thoughts and feelings and longings, no different than you or I.

What if it was YOU in that bed? What if it was YOUR SON or YOUR DAUGHTER in that bed?
Would you not want somebody to reach out and love them too?  What if YOUR child had a disability?
Mine did.  Mine do..... so what? 

Children with disabilities bring all sorts of things into a family. They teach us to love, to be more patient, to not take one BREATH for granted.  They teach us that some things just aren't that important. And they teach us that our IDEA or perception of PERFECTION is certainly not God's.

Erika and I recently heard somebody say something about children who are handicapped and she nearly cried.  It was all negative. So there sat my beautiful, sweet daughter, and this person equated her entire life to being a "pain". 
Maybe they didn't mean it in the manner they spoke it. Maybe they meant that there is heart ache in life.
This is true.  It is not easy seeing your daughter bravely go into an operating room with feet and come out without them.  It was a "painful experience", but it certainly does not define Erika. 

Erika is a JOY and so is Sarah;  and I bet many of the children and even adults seen on this video are also a joy.  It is all in how you view life.

If life is all about our own comfort and entertainment..... maybe we should re think what real life is all about.
Real life STARTS in Christ...... and then.... Oh boy! Hang on for the ride of your life. :)

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Babies and Such

I was looking at the newest baby at church today. She is simply beautiful. She was resting peacefully in her mother's arms, snuggled against her chest, at perfect rest. 

When I see babies now, my thoughts are all over the place. Memories of my own babies come back to mind, and how peacefully my boys rested, snuggled comfortably in my arms.... memories of watching them breathe, memories of their first smile, first tooth, first coo, first word.... and I marvel that they are now a bunch of big hairy men! LOL

But then, my heart goes to my girls.  I don't have any memories of them being little. I have heartache for them, because each of them came from very difficult circumstances.  Their early lives are a mystery.
Who snuggled them? Did they love them? Did they let them sleep peacefully, listening to a heart beat? Did they pause and listen to their precious breath? 

NO. It didn't happen.

Our girls missed so much, it hurts to think about it.  Their early lives were already lived.... WITHOUT US!  Whaaa......   I didn't hear their first cries. I didn't comfort their little tears, or comfort them when they were sick or hurt.   They only had themselves. :(

And now, I can't think of what life would be like without each of them.   It SEEMS that they have always been here. The only memory that they haven't, is that I have no baby  pictures. :( 
It is as if that part of their lives is unaccounted for. It is very sad. 

I am so thankful they are home. I am so thankful they are happy and I hear joyful laughter and screams and squeals. I am so thankful that I can rock them even today.... and they don't seem to mind. :)
Yes, we joke that they came "potty trained and talking back"..... but there is pain there too.
I would have given my right arm, to have been their mama from the beginning.

I can see however, that God had different plans.  I don't know why....But HE does!  And he has chosen to take Ashes and turn them into beauty.......

And I get to watch it all unfold in my home.   Oh how thankful I am. :)

Saturday, July 16, 2011

There's My Man

Yes, he is preparing for Winter. :)

and, yes, he has his Save the Squirrels T Shirt on, which means..... I need to fold the Laundry FAST! :)

You Know What Happens When You Assume!

Why do we assume????  I got caught into that today.  For 4 months now.... I have asked Miss Allie to brush her hair in the morning. Many times I'll get, "Ok, in a minute" and then, it is 10:30 and hair is a tangled mess.  So, then I have to say, "Alli, I really need you to get your hair brushed! Do you need mommy to do it?"  "No mama, I'll do it!" and then she does.

Today, I said, "You have not brushed your hair."  Her response.... "You didn't tell me to."

I then said, "I didn't know I was supposed to tell you to, I just figured you knew to brush your hair first thing in the morning when you get up."
She said,  "You never told me that. I didn't know I was supposed to."

And you know what! She is correct! I didn't ever say, "Every morning when you get up, you must brush your hair before you do anything else, or before breakfast."

I ASSUMED she knew.  She didn't. So for 4 months we have had this back and forth thing going on that I couldn't figure out.

She very matter of factly said, "Well, if it is what I'm supposed to do, and you tell me to to do it, I will." LOL

So, I said, Ok, "From now on, when you get up in the a.m., before breakfast, before you do anything else, I want  you to brush your hair and make it look nice for the day."

Her response?

Ok mommy. :)

We'll see what tomorrow brings. LOL

You Are Still Holy