“I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because I'm helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time- waking and sleeping. It doesn't change God- it changes me.”
― C. S. Lewis
― C. S. Lewis
I believe in the sun even when it's not shining. I believe in love even when I don't feel it. And I believe in God even when He is silent. (quote found on the wall of a concentration camp)
Saturday, December 3, 2011
I can't believe the Christmas season is already here! Christmas isn't about getting.... after all it isn't OUR birthday. It is about the ONE who GAVE!
GOD sent HIS Son; the baby in the manger, Jesus Christ, who grew up and became our Savior.
But in our society, Christmas goes hand in hand with giving of gifts. And everybody likes to give gifts, including us. We just don't want that to be the focus of the holiday. That is partially why I already wrapped everything and put it under the tree. I didn't want the anxiety of wonder to permeate the season. They now know they have gifts. We will open them when the time comes. It seemed to be a relief for Miss Alli to know. Now we can concentrate on other things. :)
I am so excited for Miss Alli to have her first Christmas with us. She cannot wait to put cookies on the tree that she can "eat off". LOL
This excitement comes from one of our lasting traditions of baking cookies and putting them on the tree. She LOVES the idea.
It is so important to build those lasting memories with our children through family rituals that we repeat each year.
She was able to pick out a Child to buy for from the angel tree and talk about what she wanted the little girl to get. This was new for her to be on the "giving" side of things.
As we sat around the table tonight she listened intently to all the stories we were sharing about Christmas's past, and and it was painfully obvious to me that she was saddened that she wasn't here before.
She has been inserted into our family, and while she feels very much an integral part of our lives, old memories remind her that she was obviously not there, and that is hard for her and for me too.
Honestly, I forget sometimes that our girls were not born to us. It seems like they have always been here.
So we started sharing old funny stories about each of the girls and we all laughed until we cried, and then Alli said, "Mama, tell me something more about me! Are there more funny things I have done?" I didn't have as many funny things I could come up with for her, because she just hasn't been here that long, and she wasn't here when she was 5 or 6. My heart hurt for her loss. :( As all the girls went away from the table full of happiness of hearing fun stories, including Alli, I looked at Mike and said, "We need to make every effort to make sure we catch fun memories for her, so we can bring them up for her later. " He reassured me that as time goes on, there will be plenty of fun moments to remember. But it still made me sad for her. 11 years of her life is GONE. We know NOTHING but a few tragic stories and her fun hair bow story. :(
So we will do our best to make memories for her that she can build on from here on out. We love our little girls so much.
Looking forward to a memory making Christmas!
As we celebrate this Christmas, I am so excited to help the girls make those lasting memories of Celebrating the Birth of our Savior.