We had a visit today from a relative. It is always difficult for me with this particular relative, even though I enjoyed our visit. Except for one thing!
She had not met Alli yet, and what is the first thing she says? "Well, if you decide you don't like it here, you can just come home with me!" UGH! BIG FAT UGH!!!!!!
I very quickly intervened and said, "But you are here to stay sweetie!" I then told, very NICELY I might add, my relative, please don't do that again. She said, "I was only kidding..." I think I should have been firmer.
Well, we have had a couple of stellar days, and her "only kidding" had an effect on Alli. It SCARED her. She didn't say anything at all. She even said, "I thought she was nice."
And then, I could sense nervousness on her part.
She was starting to get dysregulated. I could clearly see things were not the same as they had been all day.
"Alli, how did you feel about what X said?" She instantly said, "Mama, that was scary!" I got out my mama necklace from under my shirt and said, "You are here to stay. I'm your mama, you are NOT going anywhere! Ok?"
She was relieved. And I am so glad to clarify that with her.
If you are reading this blog and don't think it was a big deal.... please let me assure you it WAS. To say something like that to a child who has been moved around like Alli is downright STUPID.
It would be like asking an Iraqi war veteran who suffers from PTSD, if they would like to go back, remind them of the combat and then tell them "let's go! hahahaha. Not too funny.
To brush it off like it was nothing, without trying to understand, well, that is par for the course. :( Other than that, we had a good visit.
“I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because I'm helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time- waking and sleeping. It doesn't change God- it changes me.”
― C. S. Lewis
― C. S. Lewis
I believe in the sun even when it's not shining. I believe in love even when I don't feel it. And I believe in God even when He is silent. (quote found on the wall of a concentration camp)