“I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because I'm helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time- waking and sleeping. It doesn't change God- it changes me.”
― C. S. Lewis
― C. S. Lewis
I believe in the sun even when it's not shining. I believe in love even when I don't feel it. And I believe in God even when He is silent. (quote found on the wall of a concentration camp)
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Almost 18 months home!
Today was a perplexing day with everything going well, a mini meltdown and then everything going well again! :)
I feel better now. :) J/K
When I talked to our social worker about 4 few months ago she said that Alli has so many past anniversaries for Trauma related incidents, she is just one big anniversary! There are a few things that stand out however and rewriting over those events with other major events has helped her.
Today was a bit of an off day for her. Could it be hormones? Could it be past trauma? Honestly, it could be anything so we covered it all. :) Feeling angst inside can happen to all of us; how we handle it, is what is very important!
When I look back on the last nearly 18 months, the event of today was rather trivial in comparison.... But that does not mean we settle for second best; We strive for the BEST with the help of the Lord.
We are on a new playing field of security and love. We are not having to really work with her in this area anymore. She has gone with lightening speed into our arms of love and she LIKES it. She likes the security she feels and she knows she is here to stay.
We are turning our focus to issues of neglect in her upbringing. She was dependent upon HERSELF and not parents for her safety. Habits form with this kind of lifestyle and she is learning that she is still very much a little girl. She LIKES being young, and then at the same time, doesn't. 12 is a confusing age even for the most secure of children. I can't imagine what it is like for a child of trauma.
She actually figured out that it will be 4 years before she was 16 and she was celebrating how long that is, because Erika is only 2 years from 16. gulp!
I am comforted in how well Miss Alli is doing, and that we DO have a lot of years ahead of us before she goes into adulthood.
In the mean time.... There will lots of times for building memories and strong relationships like tonight. It just so happened that this Thursday was her turn for a Daddy Daughter Date. :)