I am the same age now that my father was when he died. It is a really strange feeling to know that you are now your parent's age the last time you talked to them. He just wasn't that old. Or, maybe he was, and I AM that old.
When I was traveling on Monday a little fear gripped me. What if God wants me at this age too? Every time a car passed on the two lane high way I was thinking, "Stay awake person, do you know I have kids at home still?" Isn't that awful? I was not trusting the Lord....I was in a state of UNNECESSARY worry about some made up thing in my mind!
I wonder, if sometimes our worry about our children's future isn't very similar to this? We hear about the kid who was a disaster and never got better. We hear about the children who are suffering with so many issues, and fear grips us. "What about OUR kids?" "What is going to happen when they grow up?"
The truth is, WE DON'T KNOW!
I was comforted the other day in reading about an old friend who was probably one of the most messed up teenagers I had ever met. I often wondered how she turned out and if she was even alive.
Not only is she ALIVE, she is THRIVING as an adult. :)
I remember my own teen years that from the outside looked great. I was a "good" kid. But on the inside, if somebody had known what I was thinking and how I felt, it would have terrified them.
Every single day, for about a year, I longed to be hit by a bus. No kidding.
That is pretty bad to admit, but it is true.
Yet, the Lord helped me through some serious difficulties of teenage hood, to find more difficulties in early adulthood.
What did I learn? THIS LIFE, the troubles in THIS LIFE are passing and in comparison to Knowing Christ, are nothing.
Troubles in this life lead us to the one who can offer ever lasting life, and life more abundantly. Not abundant in attainable wealth, but abundance in love, and joy beyond understanding.
I want this for all of my children and grand children. Their lives COULD have been shattered for good, but they are NOT! They are thriving with an understanding and purpose. Those shattered pieces are a part of their lives, and the Lord is putting those pieces together for them. It is not the picture that was predictable, but a MUCH BETTER picture. :)
I pray I get to see them reach my age. :) But if not, I know they will be fine.... no, better than fine! They will thrive!
“I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because I'm helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time- waking and sleeping. It doesn't change God- it changes me.”
― C. S. Lewis
― C. S. Lewis
I believe in the sun even when it's not shining. I believe in love even when I don't feel it. And I believe in God even when He is silent. (quote found on the wall of a concentration camp)