I witnessed something about 2 months ago that has been on my mind but I could not put it into words until tonight.....
I took Alli out for a "special time" and part of that time was stopping at Taco Bueno and the Art Store.
While we were at Taco Bueno, TRYING to mind our own business, we witnessed a scene I shall not soon forget.
There were 3 women. 2 had small children under 4. One was an older woman, my age, that I might assume was the younger women's mother, or a mentor.
They were QUITE LOUD in their conversation and we could not help but see and hear their overt antics.
The children, 3 of them were rather ill behaved. The little boy, I would guess was around 3. The little girl was around 2 and the baby was MAYBE 8 months old at the most.....
The 3 women talked amongst each other and ZERO attention was payed to the children except to THREATEN them with a SPOON! In fact, EACH of those women had a LARGE WOODEN SPOON! They had them laying on the table and in diaper bags.....
The little boy crawled under the table and they threatened him with a SPOON! Then the little girl was yelling and she was threatened with a spoon....
The thing that was so DISTURBING was that the women were "laughing" about it, as if it was FUNNY! It was rather creepy!
They went on to describe a brother who had a LARGE paddle with holes drilled in it, because spanking was supposed to hurt!
Alli and I looked at each other after that comment and she whispered to me, "I'd rather live in an orphanage than live with THAT woman!"
For a kid who has lived in an orphanage, that was saying A LOT!
We quietly talked about normal kid behavior and how certain situations could be managed without
the threat of spankings....
I was so proud of Alli, who TOTALLY understood.
The next scenario still makes me sad. The little boy was asked, "Do you have to go to the bathroom?"
He replied no. His mother insisted he did and off they went. She took that LARGE WOODEN SPOON and tucked it into her trousers as the older lady and other woman laughed..... I felt like crying. When they came from the bathroom, the little boy had been crying. :(
I don't know what happened in that bathroom but my heart hurt for that little boy.
They came back and by then, the baby was hungry.
The one mother began to feed the baby his bottle. One lady said, "He is WAY too old for you to be feeding him! He needs to feed himself! He is MANIPULATING YOU!
The other mother immediately, Like a ROBOT, I might add, put the bottle in front of the baby and he shrieked with frustration.... He tried to get it, but didn't have the skills. The mother THREATENED him with the spoon..... "Do I need to SPANK YOU?"
I felt ILL. I also had this vision of walking over to their table and telling them I worked for social services..... but that wouldn't have been true. I thought about talking to them but knew it wouldn't have been received. I would have been dismissed as a liberal nut.
Several things went through my mind and honestly, I didn't know what to do!
I had not witnessed them actually HURT any of the kids physically....but I knew that was most likely
what was happening.
It is an AWFUL feeling to watch such IGNORANCE.
A couple of days ago, I talked to a friend who is truly worried about somebody SHE knows that is also under the delusion that the only way to discipline children is punitive. She is PROUD of that "control".
My friend's heart was HURTING and she is fasting about what to say. Yet, she did not feel worthy to talk to her friend because she was not a perfect parent herself.
NONE of us are perfect parents. NOT ONE OF US..... Sometimes I think the unrealistic expectation of perfection keeps us from rightly speaking truth.
The truth is, I believe in both of these situations, the people have intentions that are "good".
They WANT their children to do well. They are hopelessly MISINFORMED that corporal punishment is NECESSARY to achieve success, when the truth is, that it is just NOT TRUE!
They have misconstrued some PROVERBS and taken scripture totally OUT OF CONTEXT!
And I would BET... they have read "To Train Up A Child" by the Pearls.
Somehow, they think that "GOD" has "spanked" them... which is ABSURD!
Corporal punishment may wind up having "IMMEDIATE RESULTS" based upon FEAR!!!
That does NOT build relationship.
GOD is EVER PATIENT, EVER LOVING, SLOW TO ANGER and ABOUNDING IN GREAT LOVE....
God does NOT spank us! SORRY! It just IS NOT TRUE!
FIRST TIME OBEDIENCE is JUST NOT IN SCRIPTURE!!!! Look at ANY ONE OF the Patriarchs in Scripture..... it just is NOT there!
God has ALWAYS been long suffering and patient in regards to mankind.
As Alli and I drove home from our special time, even though it was distracted by women who would have caused EXTREME TRAUMA in Alli's life, she talked about how thankful she was that she was NOT in that situation.
God wants us to have RELATIONSHIP with our children, as HE has relationship with US!
We are HIS children! Our relationship is RICH and based upon LOVE!
I would be very sad if my children's obedience was based upon "fear" and not "relationship".
I do NOT want them to obey because they FEAR me!
I want them to obey out of Love! I also want them to obey out of their love for Christ.
I am still saddened by what I saw. I can only hope that these women will come to a true knowledge of TRUTH that LOVE is the answer and not some misconstrued need for "control".
I am still creeped out that anybody who would spank a child would also be "joyful" about it!
Alli's response to all this gave me great hope for her future that she TRULY understands LOVE. :)
I just feel badly for those little ones who are being subjected to such ignorant cruelty in the name of Christ!
“I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because I'm helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time- waking and sleeping. It doesn't change God- it changes me.”
― C. S. Lewis
― C. S. Lewis
I believe in the sun even when it's not shining. I believe in love even when I don't feel it. And I believe in God even when He is silent. (quote found on the wall of a concentration camp)