We are continuing our efforts to learn how to use our tone of voice. We have been doing really REALLY well, with a few little kinks now and then.
Yesterday was one of those "kink" days. And somebody was not in the mood to be corrected so early in the a.m. Soooo, instead of listening... she got defensive and said some things she shouldn't have said. She talked back and she dug in..... 19 months ago, this would have turned into a huge ordeal that went on for hours. Today, it was resolved successfully in 30 minutes.
I quickly put on the camera with NOBODY knowing.... and just let it roll. The reason is; many times she doesn't HEAR how she sounds. She doesn't "get"it. So trying to catch it is hard, and trying to explain it is harder! :) Using video to see later, helps her to understand how she is sounding.
I cracked up how everybody was acting so natural in the video. Miss Alli was sitting right beside me. I told her she needed some mama time and then asked her.... "So what does scripture say?" "Does it say Children be disobedient to your parents?" Does it say children talk back to your parents when you disagree?" "I wait for your answer while you calm yourself. " She knows the answer quite well.
In the mean time, I made 3 videos so one wouldn't be so long. I caught dancing, and playing and all sorts of things.....I tried to talk to her before she was ready and that did not work. I am still learning that sometimes a few minutes to cool down works best. Miss Alli was completely silent. And then, she went from sitting next to me, to laying in my lap. That is when I knew she was ready to listen. I am going to post this video, because I want to show what gentle correction looks like.
Our goal is always relationship. Our goal is always a repentant heart. I am really glad that I caught both of these on camera. Miss Alli has given permission for me to play this. I do not want to cause any of my girls embarrassment..... so I DO ask permission from them to use pictures or videos. I explained to her that I felt this one was important so others could see what we do. And she agreed.
She really is a sweet heart. :)
She was awesome for the rest of the day. Fast forward to "Bright Lights"... The theme at bright lights was carrying the burden of sin. There was a skit and then the discussion was about confessing when we do wrong so we don't bear our own burdens. They discussed how it is refreshing in your heart when you confess your wrongs.
After dinner, we were cleaning up and from the dining room, Alli said, "I want some ice cream!"
About 10 seconds later she came up to me and gave me a hug and said, "Mama, may I have some ice cream please?" "I'm sorry I spoke in a demanding way." I was so proud of her AND excited that she is really understanding!!!!