“I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because I'm helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time- waking and sleeping. It doesn't change God- it changes me.”
― C. S. Lewis
― C. S. Lewis
I believe in the sun even when it's not shining. I believe in love even when I don't feel it. And I believe in God even when He is silent. (quote found on the wall of a concentration camp)
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Focusing On Adoption Part 1
Once again, November is Adoption Awareness Month. I wanted to write a post relating to how our lives have changed because of Adoption....
Adoption is a THEME that is all throughout the New Testament. The story of Redemption, is an Adoption Story. Romans 8:15 says, For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father."
I really LOVE that verse. It makes so much sense to me. A child who is afraid, does not feel comfortable with calling somebody "Father".... but a Son, has full access, anytime, to come to His father, climb in his lap and adore him. He is safe.
Adoption, is a very, clear, physical picture making a Spiritual Truth, very tangible.
Our children at one time were lost. They were lost in a system of hopelessness and despair. They were lost in a system that promoted FEAR and LOVE did not exist. There was no feeling of safety at night; only tears.
Each of our children have their own story to share. Each of them lived in conditions that are unfathomable to most Americans. The depths of despair and depths of darkness from where they came is indescribable. You just have to be there to understand.
Yet, today, EACH OF THEM THRIVE! I have chills and tears to even think about it.
ADOPTION CHANGES LIVES FOREVER!
We are not great people. We are not heroes. We are not special...... We are plain and simple people.
YET GOD moved upon our hearts to do something not so plain and simple. :)
HE CALLED US out of our ordinary lives to do something "not so" ordinary. :)
And we are LOVING every minute of it. :)
Had our girlies not come home to us..... I do not know what would have happened. I DO know, for 2 of them, they would have been shipped to Western Ukriane to live the rest of their lives out in a mental institution. I cannot handle the thought of that.
I cannot STAND the thought that Erika was kept in a crib for her first 4 years of life.... and the tortured memories she came home with. Her cries of abject despair chilled my bones in the middle of the night when she would cry out.
BUT SHE CRIES NO MORE! NO SHE DOESN'T! She is full of JOY! She is full of confidence! And she is happy.
To think of My Anna in an endless stream of foster homes, makes me sick at heart. She was so hurt, fragile and MISUNDERSTOOD! But not today. Today she is a lovely girl, full of life and LOVE.
To think that My Sarah was in a TB Sanitarium, all alone in a room all the time. For the missionary to say she was like a "Wild animal with extreme consternation in her eyes"...... She wouldn't let anybody touch her, and then she didn't want to let go.
To think of her journey through all of that, and then to an adoptive home and then extreme difficulty and on to our home breaks my heart when I think about it.
BUT TODAY....she is a FUNNY, CONFIDENT, LOVING daughter. She is so full of life!
And our sweet Alli... who had some pretty awful beginnings in her bio family. Add to that 2 failed adoptions and one VERY VERY HURT and ANGRY little girl. Where would she have wound up? In some sort of group home or foster care is what we understood...... YET TODAY... SHE IS THRIVING!
In fact, tonight, I called her to do her dishes. She not only rose to the task, but while doing something that isn't her favorite thing to do, she turned around to me and said, "Mama, Did you know I'm a neat kid?" "Did you know you are a wonderful mama?" "Did you know that we have a great family!"
Yes, each of my girls has a REAL Mama and a REAL Papa. They are tangibly LOVED and cared for, and each of them has blossomed into the beautiful fragrance that LOVE produces.
Adoption is ALL ABOUT lives being transformed. It is ALL about giving and loving. It is all about grace and mercy. And we are IMMENSELY BLESSED because of adoption.
Our lives have been touched and CHANGED forever. God's plan for our family was not that we would be wealthy or go on vacations. It certainly was not early retirement. LOL It was not that I would have a great career outside of our home, or that Mike would go far from home to work. So far the shoppe in the back of our property does pretty good! :) His plan was to teach us just how much He loves us, by teaching US to unconditionally love our children.
I cannot name the times I have spent realizing just how much He loves me, as I see myself in my girls.
What a beautiful picture HE has painted in our lives.
Thank you Lord for our precious children. Our precious BOYS who were ALSO adopted by Mike.... and our precious girls whom you gave to us to care for and tenderly love and nurture.
Thank you Lord for healing their little hearts and mending them. Thank you for giving them once again, the capacity to love and for giving them the gift of feeling safe. :)
We are such a small part of the adoption world. One little child at a time is brought home and nurtured back to love.
Thank you Lord for calling us to be a small part of your very HUGE plan. :)
We are blessed!