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In this life we can not always do great things. But we can do small things with great love.." :) Mother Teresa

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“I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because I'm helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time- waking and sleeping. It doesn't change God- it changes me.”
― C. S. Lewis


I believe in the sun even when it's not shining. I believe in love even when I don't feel it. And I believe in God even when He is silent. (quote found on the wall of a concentration camp)

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Sunday, January 13, 2013

Plan A and Disruption

I have had this on my mind for a long, LONG time.  Trying to find the right word to say is just hard.
Yes, this is another post about Disruption.  WHY?  I think it needs to be said.

Disruption is divorce, but instead of divorcing a spouse, you are divorcing your child. 
Just as when we enter a marriage, we vow, "For better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health"..... we enter Adoption in much the same way.  We commit to LOVE a child, "until death do we part."

Now, I UNDERSTAND how difficult things can get. I REALLY DO!  I also UNDERSTAND that sometimes it is not only better, but NECESSARY and in the BEST INTEREST of a child to be moved to a new home for a fresh start.  This has happened in our family twice from International Adoption.  I also consider Miss Anna disrupted, as she had so MANY foster families. The feel is the same. :(

No matter HOW you look at it.... Disruption=Rejection FOR THE CHILD.  An adult may look at it as a loving thing to do.  But, you cannot have it both ways. It is hard to picture divorce as loving.  We try to candy coat disruption these days calling it by another name.... re-homing, softening the idea of divorcing one's child. 
DIVORCE, whether it is between adults or children, is still because of personal failure and is not just one sided.  Scripture says that Moses granted divorce because of the hardness of our hearts.
A hardening has to occur to do such a thing. 

YET..... at the same time, I strongly believe that the LORD'S PLAN A was for our girls to be with us, and I am thankful for them. 
So if it was the Lord's PLAN A,  why is there such negativity about disruption?

In the same way that it was GOD's plan A to send His Son to be the Savior of the world, that does not negate the responsibility of Adam,  for original transgression!  We are fully responsible for our sin, yet we DO have a fallen nature!  Sin is negative.  We are responsible for our sin, even though we have no choice in the deal.  We sin, because we have a sin nature.

God's ways are deeper and higher and broader than my finite mind can understand.  I KNOW that I KNOW our girls were meant to be with us.  I also know that  other's hearts were moved to bring our girls' to America!  I am thankful for them. I am THANKFUL beyond measure that they went and brought them home.
Yet, there is also a sadness that things didn't work out as they should. 
In Adoption, we are called to "Come and DIE to self!"  We are called to sacrifice ALL for the children that have come into our care.
But in the process, we learn to trust on the Sovereign God.  HE has not changed or wavered in our calling.  In our weakness, HE is made strong!
Our dependence upon HIM is beyond measure! 
If we enter the adoption world in our own strength, we are in for huge trouble! 
While the Lord may use our family to bring a child home.... that does not mean we are not responsible to RAISE that child! 
The refiner's fire may be what is needed in OUR LIVES to bring us closer to Him.  And thus, if we become closer to Christ through trial and struggle, we all win.
God is so deep and rich and multifaceted.... He uses us to bring glory to Himself.
In the cases of disruption that have come into our home; we KNOW that God was at work in both families who brought our children home. He was at work in bringing our children to us, and He is at work in restoring families and bringing them closer to him BECAUSE of the disruptions that have occurred.
It is ALL a part of His Plan A.
We can rest in that, and learn what we have to learn, and He is glorified. :)

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