I was getting ready to write this and Erika came up and said, "Mama, do you just think of posts to write and write them?"
I told her, "When I have something on my heart, I write it."
She replied, "You should really just do your book because I really DO want to go to Disney World!" LOL
But, I DO have something on my mind.
Over the last week, there have been two very public families that have announced that they are either planning to adopt, or that they have already adopted and are thrilled with their child. One family plans to adopt internationally, the other adopted through the foster care system and has been advocating for the adoption of Children through the foster care system.
The negativity within the adoption community has been rather unreal! Who's side are we on? Do we want children to find forever families?
Why do we call into question these families?
Here is a quote from Nia Vardala's blog:
" Nine months later through their various connections, we were
"matched" with our daughter. Working with a private lawyer, our adoption
was finalized within a year.
And yes, she is perfect. She is a toddler, under the age of five,
and to say she's adapted well would be a huge understatement. The
experience of transitioning this child was astonishing and well, just
too personal to go into now. We kept it quiet for almost a year to
protect her privacy and give her time to adjust.
Last November as the holidays approached, my husband and I thought
about the 129,000 kids waiting for a family and decided to announce our
daughter's adoption to raise awareness of National Adoption Month.
This is why I'm writing about this now. Maybe there are other people out there who want to adopt a child through FosAdopt."
It sounds to me like they understood this child's needs and kept her protected for a YEAR!
She has also written a book <---Link about their experience in order to help others navigate through the foster care system. I have not read it... but I want to!
It seems that the negativity may be coming from those who are struggling with difficulties, and their view of a successful adoption, is that the people are clueless or don't know that their child really MUST BE emotionally disturbed.....
Umm. Where is the joy for a child finding a home? Where is the joy that THIS child is doing WELL?
Where is the joy that a very well known person is advocating for children to find MUCH NEEDED FAMILIES???
I have a friend who has adopted from Foster Care and their little girl has been a sweet blessing from DAY ONE! They are excellent parents, educated themselves, and their daughter is flourishing!
I know of other families where it hasn't gone so well. :( But that isn't the point.
Why are we assuming that because something is going well, it can't be real?
All four of our girls are flourishing at home. I don't think it is luck. And I seriously doubt it is "luck" with this other family. Maybe they adopted an easy child? Maybe they educated themselves and this child is flourishing BECAUSE of that!
Why do we judge and make assumptions about somebody we don't even know???
And the quote that really got me, and the reason I wrote this post in the first place was the headline... "Adoptive Parents wish NV would shut her big fat Greek mouth!" How rude can that be?
That is very bothersome.
I don't want her to shut her mouth. I want her to shout her experience from the house tops!
For the other public family, I think if they are open enough to adopt, they will most likely be open enough to educate themselves too, and then make a decision. Public families can grow and learn, just like us.
I pray that their adoption brings about growth within them and within the child that God has chosen for them. :)
For all of us in the adoption community, let's be kind, and SUPPORT each other! Let's give these families credit for stepping outside of their comfort zone to follow a calling to be parents!
If somebody is doing WELL, BE HAPPY FOR THEM! If they aren't, offer support and prayers.
FOR ALL OF US..... A little HUMOR goes a LONG WAY and let's not take ourselves so seriously that we think we are the only ones who know anything.
Jealousy and Strife have no place in adoption.
"His Mercies Are New Every Morning"
“I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because I'm helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time- waking and sleeping. It doesn't change God- it changes me.”
― C. S. Lewis
― C. S. Lewis
I believe in the sun even when it's not shining. I believe in love even when I don't feel it. And I believe in God even when He is silent. (quote found on the wall of a concentration camp)