His Mercy

"His Mercies Are New Every Morning"

A Thought

In this life we can not always do great things. But we can do small things with great love.." :) Mother Teresa

Prayer Quote

“I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because I'm helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time- waking and sleeping. It doesn't change God- it changes me.”
― C. S. Lewis


I believe in the sun even when it's not shining. I believe in love even when I don't feel it. And I believe in God even when He is silent. (quote found on the wall of a concentration camp)

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Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Photo Listing

I just added a widget that is not quite working yet. :)  I have to be authorized first. (I am glad they are being careful)  But when it works, it will show listings of Children within the U.S. Foster Care System that are available for adoption!

There are MANY children here, that need homes.  You can click on the photos and read about the children.  I want to add that in the U.S., there is a LOT of information about emotional needs, educational needs etc.  I read those and take note, but also know that things can wind up in a child's report based upon opinion. 
In foreign countries, they don't really write any of this stuff into a record.  So, everybody is surprised when a child comes home with emotional needs that were beyond what they were prepared for.

ALL CHILDREN who enter foster care, or an orphanage are there due to abuse, neglect or both.  ALL of them will have emotional scars and needs that go beyond the typical experience of a child born into a family that is loved and nurtured from day one.

But that DOES NOT MEAN that a child cannot heal, succeed, or FLOURISH!  We have 4 daughters from 4 VERY DIFFERENT backgrounds, all with their own stories and histories.

For those of you who were just entering the process for Russia, which is now closed down, please consider a child that is already here, already speaks English and is also waiting for a home with Parents like you!

Let me also mention the benefits of adopting older children AND especially SIBLING GROUPS.
Older children are wonderful.  Yes, they have had a life before you... but one of the benefits is that they are old enough to TALK about it, or tell you about it!  If you are older, like us, an older child would fit in perfectly. :) 
Older Children  WANT a mother and a father just like babies do.  They long to be cherished like any other person would.  

They deserve a permanent, loving, home too!
If you know of a waiting child in foster care, you can click HERE to add them to the list.
There is a lot of unnecessary FEAR that drives people away from the foster care system in America.
There is no question that changes need to be made to make things easier and less confusing, and to clear up who is available for adoption and who isn't.
Until a child has been CLEARED.... YOU CANNOT count on that child being your child.
All court documents must be correct, and nothing left undone.

Our three girls, adopted here in the United States (one foster care, two private through disruption)
had to go through a VERY thorough paperwork process and it takes TIME.  Anna was with us 10 months before her adoption was finalized, Sarah 6 and Alli  just 3. It depends upon the State in which you adopt and how backed up the system is.

Also, there are many groups for support within the Foster Care System. We still get invited to groups in Oklahoma where Anna is from. :)  Take classes and USE the tools given to educate yourself on the joys and challenges of adoption.

So, as soon as this widget is approved, please consider each child and pray for them and for their future parent, who could very well be YOU! :)


Karen said...

What a great idea! We adopted 3 via foster care. None were cleared for adoption (we got them at birth or shortly afterwards). It took anywhere from nearly 12 months to 2-1/2 years for us. A lot depends on the county/state where you live. Some of our friends took even longer...and some shorter. Definitely a case-by-case thing! :-)

Anonymous said...

We adopted our son through the foster care system. We found people who truly cared about him and were very helpful in navigating "the system."
I have met two siblings, whose parental rights have been terminated, who are longing for a family. They begged us to adopt them, but we couldn't.
There are some awesome kids in the US foster care system.

:)De said...

I have adopted all 6 of my children from the US foster care system and the time from availability for adoption to finalization ran from 6 months to 2 1/2 years depending on the worker/case.

For our family, it was a beautiful way to grow!

Unknown said...

Christy.. just look at Ali's picture from when you brought her home to now!! Her eyes are softer her smile is genuine... she looks relaxed and happy.

I don't know if you can see that or not... I notice it.

Annie said...

The greatest thing to fear in the foster care system, is the system itself. I had very bad luck with it, because I actually expected them to be helpful, and they didn't know as much about damaged children as I did - or, I should say they knew how to MOVE them to a new PLACE, but never thought of helping parents learn how to help traumatized children. But if you can deal with that, the children are not so different from the Russian children - well! What do you know! Our foster child was from the same orphanage our son was from! And, to my sorrow, I have since seen other Russian children on the Michigan foster care photo listing.

We've had a number of foster children either in our parish and a number of children adopted from foster care - and no one would ever have picked them out of the bunch as being difficult or needy or poorly behaved. Some have had "issues" some have been very easy to get along with (as reported by their parents). When Zhenya was at our parish school his best friend was the son of MSU Basketball Coach Tom Izzo. No one would ever imagine Steven was adopted from foster care (or anywhere else) he not only looks like his dad, he is one amazing basketball player. I feel OK sharing this because the Izzos have done ads for Catholic Charities Foster-Adopt program.

Christie M said...

I remember when we took our Foster Parent Classes the social worker talked a little bit about RAD. She said, "These kids do not attach. When they get tired of you, they act up so they can be moved to another home."
There wasn't really any trying to learn HOW to parent this type of child. Instead it was more like, "that is what happens so get used to it." :(
(This is TEXAS)

BUT... the foster system in Oklahoma was quite different. They offered support and also Bryan Post was working closely with them to develop parent training at one time. I believe he now does Group Home Training.

Aus said...

Great post Christie - lots of good stuff here! And I have to 2nd the comment about "coming with trauma - coming with wounds". And they show up a weird times...

Last night - a little family TV time from Netflix before bed...

6 year old daughter almost 5 years post adoption....

And out of no where the SCREAMING FIT - including "why don't you go away" and all the rest of it while mom tended to the other two and I just laid on the floor next to her maybe 20 minutes or so...

Mom changes into pj's then just quietly picks her up to hold her on the couch, I get the milk and "disappear" (I needed a shower anyway but the evening was mild and lots to do outside!!)

And 30 minutes later tucking her in at bedtime...

The "sweet child" is back and you'd never know there had been a problem...and I'm not sure she even remembers it!

We'll never know the trigger - but we do know the love!!

hugs - aus and co.

Beloved's Redheaded Bride said...

Thank you so much for your blog. It has blessed me so much. I have learned a lot. Although we are not an adoptive family we have many friends who have adopted. Your life has given me an understanding of how to support my friends. I want to thank you for that! And, thanks for allowing me to leave my footsteps all over your blog! - Carmen

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