We have had some wonderful days these last two weeks. Actually longer, but the last two weeks have been very special!
Going to Oklahoma to meet Tatyana and her boyfriend Gibson, and their family, visiting their church, coming home to our Son arriving from MaryLand and now our Daughter in Law and three grandsons....
Joe and Becca
And then the Fontes family came to visit and will visit again!!! (we are so excited!)
Things have been Hot and Happenin'! :)
All the girlies have taken it in stride and I am so PROUD of all of them.
Today however....... was a little different.
Today I observed each of my sweet girls taking time to play with nephews. Miss Alli in particular was just drawn to Felix. She spent a lot of time with him, and even wanted to hold him while he was sleeping.
At around 6:30, she suddenly rushed to her room in tears, and threw herself on her bed. She wanted to be alone for a while.
About an hour later, I came in and sat with her.
Through tears, she spoke about how she didn't know what SHE looked like as a baby. She wondered if she were so loved and cherished as Felix is.
We went to the rocking chair and I told her that we love her just like she is baby Felix. When we snuggle her we see Baby Felix. And we adore her just like Baby Felix. :)
I explained to her, that it IS sad we don't have baby pictures of her, but we have a video of her at 8 years old and I can just imagine what she looked like as a little girl, and even a baby. :)
The other side of the joy of adoption is grief. The realization that you are no longer in your birth family, the realization that you may have not been cherished... and that you do not know who held you, loved on you, or adored you... cooed with you, blew air on your sweet belly as you cooed with delight, nursed you, changed you, cuddled you when you had a tummy ache.... is all there in glaring sadness, as you watch your little nephew adored.... and you wonder, what about me? The questions came.... Did somebody do that to me? Was I loved?
Break. My. Heart.
I was so proud of her as she overcame her deepest sadness and took part in loving her nephews, playing with them all day long!
But when she was finally overcome with grief, we snuggled as she wept, and healed a little bit more. :)
So proud of my sweetie! :)
“I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because I'm helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time- waking and sleeping. It doesn't change God- it changes me.”
― C. S. Lewis
― C. S. Lewis
I believe in the sun even when it's not shining. I believe in love even when I don't feel it. And I believe in God even when He is silent. (quote found on the wall of a concentration camp)